Fuzzy Little Flunkers – Commentary Diary #3 – Gold Coast Suns vs Carlton (21/08/2020)

Prologue

Channels 7s gameday commentary is a source of constant ridicule and criticism, particularly the performance of one Brian Taylor…..

During the game between West Coast and Carlton, it was observed by many on Twitter that Daisy Pearce in particular was being ignored by Taylor, and that the commentary was worse than ever

With that in mind, we decided to keep a diary for the commentary on certain games, as a test tracker to see if the criticism was valid

The game today is the first game of Indigenous Round, Gold Coast Suns vs Carlton, 21/08/2020

Commentary team – Brian Taylor, Bruce Mcavaney, Wayne Carey, Gavin Wanganeen and Abbey Holmes (the latter two at the ground)

Commentary taken from Foxtel replay, so excludes h/t and pre game – clock times are on “countdown” times from the broadcast.

Broadcast begins after the Welcome to Country ceremony

1st Quarter

16:00 Taylor introduces the game, thanking the Larrakia people for allowing it to happen

Throws to Wayne Carey, who mentions the Suns deserve a Friday night game for their attractive footy

Bruce jumps in, with an “Agree with you Duck”, then pauses to let the coin toss ceremony be shown

Taylor and Bruce have a quick chat about the conditions, mentioning Abbey and Gavin have told them about the humid conditions

Taylor makes a long point about the age of Kade Simpson compared to his Suns opponents and Carey mutters something about Simpson in a short sleeved jumper

Throw to Abbey Holmes for another check on the conditions, meaning we’ve mentioned the conditions three times already

Abbey gives some vagaries about it being hot and she’s pumped for the game

Taylor doesn’t respond, and we hit the first bounce

15:58 Taylor starts as he usually does, mentioning the umpires are “in great form”

14:33 Carey, having observed the ground “looks like a carpet”, chips in that Casboult needs to stop with the short kicks, as he can’t disguise them well

Taylor agrees, saying its better for Casboult to “gain the metreage”

13:30 Taylor again decides “the surface is like carpet”

13:03 Bruce throws to Abbey to see if Swallow is paying close attention to Docherty

Abbey isn’t sure and says she’s having a close eye on it and will get back to Bruce

Camera cuts to Swallow wrestling with Williamson, not Docherty and Abbey says “that shows they are paying close attention to each other as you can see!”

Bruce trails off with a non committal “thanks for that Abbey”

11:40 First score of the game is a point to Sam Walsh

Bruce mentions that Walsh has kicked 5 goals in his last 5 games, after kicking 6 in the previous 30

Carey comes back with some vagaries, saying Walsh has “taken his game to a new level” and remember “that mark he took earlier this year”

Bruce trails off with a “yep”

Bruces crosses haven’t started well

11:24 Bruce anticipates the battle between Cripps and Greenwood at the stoppages “will be fascinating”

Taylor responds with a “yep, it will indeed, great battle”

10:06 Mark to Gibbons

General joshing about if Gibbons can kick a goal from a set shot

Carey says there’s more pressure on a set shot, and Gibbons misses with Bruce saying “hooking, hooking, hooking”

Taylor throws to a photo of Eddie Betts with Connor Budarick from 5 years ago, and mentions now Budarick is playing on his hero

Bruce and Carey approve, while Taylor finishes with “blow your mind on that!”

9:15

First goal of the game to Gibbons

Bruce mentions “it was appropriate Newnes gave it to Gibbons!”

Carey and Taylor get distracted talking about the Betts/Budarick photo again

After describing the goal, Taylor throws to the Fanzone to point out Daniel Gorringe is going “absolutely geeky”

8:55 Point kicked by De Koning

Bruce chips in another vagary with “Gee he’s an athlete isn’t he!”

Taylor jumps in again with his tale of how De Koning is pronounced

Taylor gets so caught up in his story of how De Konings mother told him it how it was pronounced, he mixes up Collins with Budarick and has to correct himself

7:20 Mark inside 50 to Newnes

Bruce begins an extended thought about how Newnes went from “a B Grade movie star to a leading man” last week

6:59 Newnes drags his set shot wide after Carey says there’s now an expectation for Newnes to kick these goals

Bruce engages in joshing saying Carey “can spoil a good story!” and Taylor japes “he’s a real party pooper!”

Gavin Wanganeen still hasn’t spoken on the broadcast

5:40 Gold Coast haven’t scored

Taylor asks Carey what Gold Coast need to do that they aren’t doing

Carey says the Suns need to stop the short kicks of Carlton, noting Carlton are already up to 20 marks, with a clear plan to chip it around

Taylor says nothing in response

5:07 Taylor and Bruce begin a conversation about Rankine and whether he has free range or needs to be more professional

Bruce makes a point about Rankine doing a lot of running last week and blowing up near the end of the game

4:10 First cross to Gavin Wanganeen all game

Taylor asks Wanganeen the vague question “how you seeing it” and Wanganeen responds “you can see the wide entries and the Carlton boys are saying good luck if you kick it from there”

No one replies

3:38 After Simpson fumbles over the line, Abbey chips in to point out the dew on the ground is making the ball slippy and its slipping through the players fingers

Taylor ignores her and makes a joke about “the other Dew, Stuart….”

3:20 Carey tries to make a point about marking the ball in slippery conditions and how to mark the ball with flat hands

He gets swallowed up by Taylor marvelling about the fans bringing their own chairs

Extended conversation then goes on about which team has the most fans, roping in Abbey to talk about there being more Blues fans, Bruce joshing about what happens if the Suns kick a goal, and Carey saying Eddie Betts is a drawcard

This chews up around 30 seconds

0:00 The quarter ends with Bruce talking about the jumpers being worn

Quarter time

1 cross to Gavin Wanganeen all game

Abbey is much more of a traditional “boundary rider” than Daisy or Hodge, and Taylor seems much more engaged with that set up

Abbey butchered her main cross about Swallow and Docherty

Taylor has been all over the map

Carey has been really subdued in the broadcast and has contributed mostly vagaries

2nd Quarter

16:00 Taylor opens the 2nd quarter commentary

15:12 Bruce mentions Jack Martin, noting he kicked 4 goals against Richmond and made “an auspicious debut”

Carey responds with another vagary, concluding with “he’s a class act and having a good year”

Bruce responds with a “no doubt”

14:50 Taylor praises “those magnificent trees in the background”

13:47 Taylor mentions “Izak Ranking”

Taylor also muses umpire Robert Finlay is in “great form” with no context

12:50 A kick inside 50 is marked by Jack Martin

Despite the clear close up it’s Jack Martin, Taylor calls him “Petrevski-Seton” before correcting

Carey praises Simpson for taking the game on and getting a quick kick inside 50

12:11 Martin misses the set shot

Taylor and Carey have a vague conversation that starts with Taylor saying last year “Gold Coast just played to play”, and Carey concluding Carlton haven’t put scoreboard pressure on them and the Suns “time will come”

It’s a real drop down from Hodge and Daisy to go back to such vague non committal commentary

11:49

Free kick to Harry McKay

Carey muses that McKay “hit his last shot well” even though he missed, so it should give him confidence

11:21

Goal to Mckay

Carey and Taylor again have a very vague conversation about McKay “shaping up well for a big guy” that doesn’t seem to say anything interesting

Taylor says “he looks really solid” and will be a good player

Carey says “the upside of him is……huge”

Taylor concludes the conversation by saying David Teague looks happy

The most staggering thing doing this diary so far is the drop off in quality from Daisy and Hodge (and even god forbid the less Channel 7ny bits of Cameron Ling) to Carey

10:24 Taylor gets frustrated with the Suns slow play

Bruce is also frustrated, mentioning “it’s not like they’ve changed personnel!”

Neither mentions the Suns are on a short break

10:05 Petrevski-Seton is injured in a tackle from Swallow

Taylor says Petrevski-Seton “got up with both arms on the ground” and should be OK

Bruce mentions he’s a hardy player

9:48 Abbey reports Petrevski-Seton is coming off the ground

9:10 Mark inside 50 to Rankine

Taylor praises Gold Coast for moving the ball quicker and Carey chips in that “Docherty, Weitering and these guys are playing good footy so you can’t just bomb it on their heads”

8:30 Rankine kicks the goal mentioning with Taylor saying “he’s a sweet timer of the footy”

Carey and Taylor begin another non specific conversation about quick ball movement and “what forward doesn’t love it!”

Abbey chips in to describe the goal in basic terms and then throw to Gavin (for only the 2nd time) to talk about how he’s related to Izak Rankine

Bruce concludes “great story Abbey!”

7:25 After a tackle by Kade Simpson, Taylor mentions Simpson is 36 again, and calls a tackle “a real cruncher”

Carey uses the Telstra Tracker to say Walsh has covered a lot of ground and Ed Curnow is a “massive runner as well”

7:16 Bruce says “you can see the Suns have lifted a bit” after their goal and Carey says “their attack on the footy can’t be questioned”

It’s such an uninteresting, vague commentary, that’s the thread so far, it’s not informing the viewer in any way

6:58 Taylor muses “the kids won’t forget this!” and how lucky they are to see this game

5:55 Free kick to Eddie Betts for a high tackle

Careys analysis is “Eddie pulled out his whole trick bag!”

No one comments on the free

5:14 Betts misses the set shot

Carey says “it’s the most clapped point he’s ever seen”

Taylor begins a cringy monologue about “they love it” and “if they just take away from this that they love footy and watch their heroes, that’s all we want!”

He then praises the Larrakia people for “giving us so many great footballers over the years!”

He doesn’t name any of them

3:27

Mark to Lemmens

Carey runs with “it’s a big win to the Suns because Carlton haven’t put on scoreboard pressure”

3:12 Lemmens kicks a goal

Carey again doesn’t contribute much beyond “speed of ball movement” and something is “the most important kick in football”

Throw to Gavin Wanganeen (only the 3rd time) to basically back up Taylor that speed of ball movement is the key

Taylor agrees

3:02 Taylors analysis of Lukosius is “I love his name, I love his kicks, I love his play and precision ball, look at that!”

2:24 Goal to Eddie Betts

It’s set up by Zac Fisher out sprinting Lukosius and getting the ball into Betts

The 7 analysis is Carey and Taylor to josh about “a big bear” jumping on Lukosius back and Taylor says “the big bear on his back said you’ve done too much running!”

Carey is about to launch into more analysis of the goal when they cut to the crowd and show several Indigenous fans enjoying the game

Taylor purrs “Isn’t it great! Isn’t it great to see these guys coming to the footy! Enjoying every moment of it! Look they don’t know which way to look! It’s such a big bright thing for them! They are loving the opportunity of AFL football up here! Thanks to the Larrakia people again!”

So…….that was all kinds of wrong……..

1:18 Goal to McKay

Carey mentions the game is opening up and Taylor goes back to McKays “uncomplicated style” kicking for goal

Bruce and Carey continue the vagary with Bruce saying he’s the dominant key forward on the ground and Carey concluding “he’s having a very good game”

Carey then pipes in “he has a smooth clean action” and “he could be a superstar of the comp”

Wanganeen, who’s sounded nervous up until now, chips in that Gibbons set up the goal well and McKay has a good kicking action

0:40 Goal to Gibbons

Someone in the Channel 7 production truck REALLY wants crowd shots because we’re jump cutting to them all the time now

Bruce says Gibbons contribution tonight has been “quite stunning” and “pretty good all the way through”

Carey simply says “they are getting too much uncontested footy” and Taylor says “yup”

Carey slips into more vagaries that the Suns pressure has dropped off

Taylor chimes in “all the 3s, 3 goals, 3 minutes, and 3 entries”

Bruce replies “A hat trick in more ways than one!”

Taylor ignores it, and joshing ensues

0:27 Taylor goes on a monologue again about the people bringing in their own deck chairs

Taylor says “they’ve brought all different seats for all different weights!”

Bruce says “you would be a challenge!”

Joshing ensues

0:00 End of the 2nd quarter

So the key takeaway from that is just how uninteresting and uninformative the commentary is

Carey as a special comments person is a steep dive off a cliff compared to Daisy, Hodge and some of Ling

He doesn’t analyse any build up to goals or any patterns of play, just vague stuff about McKay being solid etc

Bruce and Taylor have been all over the place and the game just isn’t called well

Taylors comment on the crowd was appalling and cringy. At best.

Abbey and Wanganeen have been used really sparingly……

3rd Quarter

Half time note – Channel 7 used 1/2 time of Indigenous round to interview Daniel Gorringe about this fear of birds, rather than interview any Indigenous players

16:00 Taylor opens the 3rd quarter, Carey opens up with another vagary about David Swallow having a good year

15:16 Marc Murphy kicks a behind

Taylor notes Murphy leads all possession getters on the ground and thus is having “a good night”

14:09

Mark inside 50 to Casboult

Carey notes Casboult was the beneficiary of a good kick that went deep and Casboult read it better than anyone else

Taylor says Martin delivered a “class kick” and the other two say “yep”

13:33

Casboult misses a set shot

Bruce asks Taylor if Carltons inaccuracy will hurt Carlton

Taylors summation is basically “it shouldn’t, unless Gold Coast play better”

The insight is staggering

13:03 Casboult drops a Simpson kick inside 50

Taylor is so busy praising the magnificent kick he doesn’t call the play and the dropped mark

12:47 Bruce says Gold Coast are at breaking point and need to “boomerang their way out of this, sling shot their way out of this”

12:00 Weitering outmarks King

Carey chips in more vagaries that King is playing on “a really good player who’s having a some sort of year”

Taylor mentions 10 Gold Coast players have had less than 5 possessions but doesn’t name them or go any further

10:42 Casboult takes a strong mark down the line

Carey sums up its important to take strong marks and “then he had the nous to play on”

It’s not adding anything to the commentary, it’s just describing what people can see that’s really obvious

10:26 Cross to Abbey to tell us Ballard is up after being hit by Ellis

Abbey trails off nervously that “it’s good news……for Suns fans”

Taylor says “thanks Abbey”

9:59 Taylor goes to another one of this familiar themes, thanking the umpires for living in the hub

9:49 De Koning gives away a free kick to Witts

Carey chips in “Couple of free kicks De Koning has given away to Witts….let them off the hook”

Bruce responds with a “yep, in the same spot”

8:40 Bruce brings up a stat that Swallow has won 5 clearances and is starting to get busy around the stoppages

Carey chips in with “The Suns intensity has lifted”

7:03 Weitering takes a defensive mark

Bruce tries to engage Carey in a discussion on whether Weitering is in All Australian form

Carey responds “He’ll be in the discussion, not many goals kicked on him…..”

6:38 Taylor begins an extended part on Maurice Rioli

He awards Rioli 10 out of 10 or 9 out 10 for aspects of his game, not really explaining where he got those marks from

It concludes with Taylor saying he was a “10 out of 10 person” and a “former team-mate of mine that died too young”

While he’s talking, he misses a mark inside 50 to Corbett

Bruce has to interject with a quick “Absolutely….so mark in the pocket to Corbett” to get things back on track

6:06 Swallow hits the post with a shot from the boundary

Taylors analysis is “there’s a lot of kids in the crowd saying I would have kicked that in my playtime! Every day! No doubt about it!”

4:49 Throw to Carey for a discussion about the Tom Lynch story in the week

Carey thinks there wasn’t much in it “but he liked the passion of young Collins in the rooms”

3:41 Carey returns to the theme saying if it was a midfielder or an on baller it wouldn’t be talked about

Taylor throws to “Gav” for his thoughts

Wanganeen doesn’t hear the question and responds saying he’s waiting for Gold Coast to get a message to attack more and not just kick it down the line

Bruce responds “lets see if they do get that message”

3:09 Goal to Weller

Bruce screams “Corridor footy!” and says “I reckon they got the message Gav!”

Abbey chips in to say “Gavin you wanted to the Suns to take grass, take risks…..”

Wanganeen nervously says “Gold Coast got some overlap handballs……which….the Carlton defence don’t like”

Taylor ignores all this to comment on Rowell and Dew on the bench “having a little love-fest”

2:46 Goal to Curnow

Taylor says it came from “the brilliance of Cripps and Curnow” and was the last thing Gold Coast wanted

Careys analysis is it was a nice finish, and he had time and space, followed up by saying the improvement in Carlton is in winning tight finishes, and trailing a very vague thought by saying the fans in the Fan Zone seem pretty happy

1:14 Simpson takes an intercept mark

Careys analysis is “Simpson saw the body language was he was kicking it short and read it well”

0:00 Quarter ends with Rankine missing a sitter

Bruce sums up “oh boy oh boy oh boy”

Taylor begins a thought about the free range you give a player like Rankine, then goes “oh boy oh boy oh boy” and asks Bruce if he has any thoughts

Bruce says “it’s 3 quarter time”

4th Quarter

16:00 Bruce opens the final term hoping the Suns can make some inroads

15:10 Bruces throws to Taylor to talk about Carltons defence being impressive

Taylor says “Carltons defence has been impressive led by this man here Docherty”

It’s clearly Weitering

Carey chips another vagary that Weitering and Docherty have “stood up all night”

Taylor mumbles “Plowman another” and Carey says “yep”

Searing analysis

14:19 McKay marks and has a shot at goal

Taylor calls McKays kick as “I reckon thats a goal, that’s magnificent”

Goal Umpire gives a point, with Carey saying “it’s a bad camera angle” and Taylor to say “he can’t actually see the goals”

12:15 Taylor says “he reckons it was Ainsworth” that got a handball out

Bruce says “it was, well done” like a proud parent

12:00 Throw to Wanganeen to discuss the amount of times Eddie Betts has dropped chest marks

Wanganeen says the humidity in Darwin makes the ball like a cake of soap

Bruce sums up “we’ve got a reason BT but it is unusual”

11:48 Carey chips in “McKay had a lot of time and space to kick the ball”

He’s interrupted by Taylor getting excited that a Lukosius kick “went up the backside of Pittonet!”

He begins trying to josh that “it hit him on the bottom!”

Carey says “it happens” and Taylor says “hilarious…..some say not that funny…….”

11:02 Carey says Cripps needs to learn to win his own ball

Bruce asks him if that will happen or its just the way he plays

Carey says “the next evolution will be to get it to guys like Walsh”

Conversation fades out

10:35 Taylor asks Bruce the last time Carlton won a Friday night game

Bruce says it was North Melbourne in 2014 “but someone fed it to him in his ear”

Joshing ensues

10:00 Carey begins a vague monologue about Gold Coast having 6 players younger than Sam Walsh and “they have a really bright future”

Bruce chips in Carlton have 6 of the oldest 7 on the ground

Conversation fades out

Still no one has mentioned Gold Coast are off a short break

8:40

Goal to Newnes

Bruce wonders if last weeks match winner gave Newnes belief

Carey chips in “it gave him confidence”

They repeat the same conversation again, before Carey gets distracted by the Ladder

5:22 Goal to Flanders

Taylor goes straight into fixture list and a monologue on Gold Coast not ruining their competitive season

After a discussion on the next nights game and the debut of Irving Mosquito, Taylor states “it’s worldwide Mosquito day yesterday, on the day he was selected!”

Bruce says “I’ve made a note of it BT”

No one says anything about the goal

Carey says nothing

5:03 Cripps kicks a behind

Bruce says he’s glad Cripps didn’t kick a goal, because “they were messing up the commentary talking about Mosquitos!”

Joshing ensues

3:46 Games wind down

Bruce says “Gibbons is a nice foil for everyone isn’t he”

Carey says “yep” and gives him nothing

2:41 Carey mutters something about Carltons back six “controlling the air”

The Telstra Tracker comes on the screen with “repeat speed leaders”

Taylor looks at it and says “The Telstra Tracker there”

0:08 Game winds down with a discussion about midfielder set shots

End of Game

Postscript/Conclusion

The main thing that stood out was how truly horrible Wayne Carey was at special comments

He contributed so many vagaries, unquantifiable statements, and the quality drop from Hodge, Daisy and Ling (sometimes) was stark

There was no analysis of patterns of play, no explanations on what happened, no rationale on the game

Bruce and Taylor had to fill in a lot more air time as a result, particularly after Abbey butchered her big cross and Wanganeen was so audibly nervous

Taylors observation on the crowd being distracted by big shiny AFL was absolutely embarrassing

Truly awful commentary all round, at times embarrassing, but mostly just uninformative and uninteresting, full of words just to fill time

Fuzzy Little Flunkers – Commentary Diary #2 (West Coast Eagles vs Carlton, 09/08/2020)

Prologue

Channels 7s gameday commentary is a source of constant ridicule and criticism, particularly the performance of one Brian Taylor…..

During the game between West Coast and Carlton, it was observed by many on Twitter that Daisy Pearce in particular was being ignored by Taylor, and that the commentary was worse than ever

With that in mind, we decided to keep a diary for the commentary on certain games, as a test tracker to see if the criticism was valid

The game today is the original game that started this, West Coast vs Carlton. 09/08/2020

Commentary team – Brian Taylor, Luke Darcy, Daisy Pearce, Cameron Ling and Basil Zempilas (at the ground)

Commentary taken from Foxtel replay, so excludes h/t and pre game – clock times are on “countdown” times from the broadcast.

1st Quarter

16:00 – Taylor begins the commentary, his first observation being the umpires are throwing the ball up rather than bouncing it

15:38 First throw to Luke Darcy on commentary, who chimes on how Pittonet tried to attack Naitanuis body in the first ruck contest but Naitanui stepped around it

Taylors response to Darcys ruck contest analysis is to say “it was really good”

14:46 First comment from Cameron Ling, who observes Naitanui has pushed forward to try and expose Pittonet as his direct opponent

Darcy no sells the comment and talks about the conditions, particularly how wet it is

13:08 Darcy throws to Daisy, her first contribution to the game

Daisy goes through some of the match ups, most notably Weitering taking Kennedy rather than Liam Jones

Ling backs her up saying they didn’t expect that match up and they’d keep an eye on it

Taylor completely ignores the conversation and throws to Basil Zempilas for his first contribution

Zempilas points out Cripps isn’t being hard tagged by Hurn and Kelly has space to work in

Taylor ends with “Thanks Baz”

12:18 – Andrew Gaff marks inside 50

Cameron Ling talks through the replay, noting how Darling was strong enough to break a tackle and get the kick to Gaff

Taylor immediately talks over him to make the irrelevant point West Coast are 25-6 at this venue

12:06 Taylor “can’t remember” who got a mongrel kick forward, Ling has to remind him it was Tim Kelly

11:33 Taylor chimes in he’d be happy if he was Adam Simpson because the Eagles “look sharp”

It stands out Taylor really speaks in vagaries and emotive commentary, and doesn’t use anything to back it up

11:31 A free kick to Will Setterfield

Taylor doesn’t know what it’s for from the vision and Ling points out it was for something before the vision rolled

Taylor butts in with a “yep” like he knew that, then makes a joke about how big Patrick Cripps is

10:20 Goal to Zac Fisher

Cameron Ling explains how the goal was kicked and dissects Fisher pushing forward and a holding the ball decision

Taylor ignores him to talk to Darcy about the games Fisher missed early in the season

9:51 Cameron Ling begins a monologue about how Naitanui and his ruck taps make the Carlton midfield reactive

Darcy engages and agrees

9:20 Levi Casboult doesn’t get a free kick for what looks like a push in the back, with Darcy commenting on the decision

Daisys 2nd contribution for the game is to mention to “Darce” that it looked like a two handed shove in the back from Barass

The next person to speak is Taylor continuing the commentary, meaning they completely ignored Daisys contribution, even mentioning a specific person to engage with

9:14 Cameron Ling opines on a free kick given against Casboult for a block in the ruck and this time Darcy responds with “the umpires are getting their eye in too Lingy!” while Taylor goes “yep”

8:56 For his observation, Lingy gets a replay and Darcy and Taylor agree with his observation….Darcy says “couldn’t agree with you more”

8:47 Taylor says ‘Flyin Ryan” in a funny voice

8:33 Darcy engages with Ling around Cottrell being nailed in his first game in a tackle by Ryan

Early observation – they sure throw to Ling a lot more than Daisy

7:48 Taylor throws to Zempilas for some joshing about the rain that’s coming

6:52 Mark inside 50 to Casboult

Darcy throws to Ling again, to discuss how Casboult has added “much more to his game”

6:20 Ling again, after Casboult missed his set shot badly

He asks Taylor about his theory that you need to forget a miss like that and asks about the little voice in your head

Taylor responds with basic joshing about Richo

6:13 Daisy chips in for the 3rd time in the quarter about how Carlton would be happy with their entry inside 50 and how they were able to get 20m closer to goal that time

No one replies, Darcy goes straight to talking about Nic Nat in the ruck

5:33 Sam Walsh kicks a goal for the Blues

Daisy chips in that they talked pre game about Carlton simplifying things, and how when you have a target like Casboult, kicking it long to him can bring the smalls into play

No one replies

Cameron Ling says more or less the same thing, and the segment ends with a throw to Zempilas to say Brad Sheppard was hurt in a collision with Naitanui

Ends with a “thanks Baz” from Darcy

5:09 Duggan is tackled close to goal, Darcy throws to Ling for his opinion on the holding the ball decision

5 minutes to go in the quarter, and Daisy has been thrown to and responded to only once

4:49 Cross to Zempilas (thrown to by Taylor) to point out Rothem on Casboult is a match up Carlton can exploit

3:50 Ling talks 3 more times, ending with a musing about how Tim Kelly must be enjoying playing with Nic Naitanui

Taylor ends things with a non committal “yeah”

3:35 Taylor references Lingy again after a Naitanui tap

3:03 The Sam Petrevski-Seton holding the ball decision is reviewed, after Darlings goal from the 50

Darcy and Taylor spend far more time on Plowman agreeing with the umpire than analysing the play

Ling has to point out to them the controversial nature of the decision

Daisy chimes in there’s no prior and agrees, and Ling talks over her to finish his thought that “thats frustrating a lot of footy fans BT”

1:31 Daisy points out Tim Kelly is flying, and lists his possession and stats numbers while pointing out his work rate around the ground

Darcy responds with “he’s really finding his feet as an Eagle Tim Kelly” but doesn’t mention Daisy by name in the reply

1:03 Throw to Zempilas (by Taylor) to point out Luke Shuey just had his first possession

Taylor says “thanks Baz” and acknowledges the point

0:32 Ling chimes in with an opinion on how Oscar Allen is working Pittonet over in the ruck, which is back referenced by Darcy with a “make a really good point Cameron Ling”

0:22 Darcy throws to Daisy, for a discussion on Nic Naitanuis numbers not reflecting his game

This is only the second time any commentator has specifically asked Daisy a question

Taylor still hasn’t spoken to her

0:00 Waterman misses a shot after the siren

First quarter summation, Pearce has been spoken to twice, with lots of crosses to “Lingy” and “Spot on Lingys”

2nd Quarter

16:00 Darcy opens the commentary praising the ruck work of Naitanui

15:31 Lings first contribution to the quarter is to point out the strength of Liam Jones to hold up Oscar Allen in a tackle

Taylor chips in with a “well done”

14:52 Brad Sheppard kicks a goal for the Eagles

Darcy is a little confused who kicked the goal, but throws to Daisy once he realises it was kicked by Sheppard and Daisy jokes its a good moment for the defenders when that happens

Taylor ignores this and tells Darce he thought it was Nelson that kicked the goal

Ling more or less makes the same point Daisy did about defenders being happy

14:35 Taylor makes a comment about Cottrells time trial and then a funny about his haircut….

13:59 Cross to Zempilas for an injury update on Dom Sheed – no reply from Luke Darcy

13:39 Daisy chips in that neither Liam Ryan or Josh Kennedy have had a possession and it’s a tough day for forwards

Taylor completely ignores her and jumps in to shout out Naitanuis stats in the ruck

12:34 Kennedy marks on the lead

Zempilas chimes in it’s his first touch for the game, the exact thing Daisy said 60 seconds earlier

Darcy gives him a “he’s been in great touch as well Baz”

A maddening minute….

12:14 Taylor begins an extended monologue about Tom De Koning

He starts by stating loudly he knows how to pronounce “De Koning” because he spoke to De Konings Mum

He then chimes he is one of 10 kids and lists some of the other De Koning children

This counts as “research”

This discussion goes on for around 40 seconds while the game goes on…

11:33 Taylor describes a kick after all this joshing and japing as a “fuzzy little flunker” (if you were wondering where the blog title came from)

11:23 Darcy engages in some joshing about De Koning, he, Ling and Darcy have a chuckle

11:11 Throw to Lingy for some vagaries and analysis around Carlton “working hard” and “needing more polish”

11:03 Throw to Zempilas for more discussion about the rain – Taylor joshes with him about Basil being the Lord Mayor of Perth,

More chuckling

10:09 Another throw to Ling to discuss a deliberate out of bounds

9:54 Darcy throws to Daisy this time, to discuss a free kick, and Daisy says it was there for a grab of the wrist

All the crosses to Daisy so far have been from Darcy

9:20 Taylor and Ling have one of those vague Channel 7 conversations that happen in the footy commentary where Taylor says something like “Carlton are hanging in there” and Ling says “They need reward for effort”

Kind of unquantifiable air filling nothings

8:40 Goal to Carlton kicked by Zac Fisher

Daisy points out the goal started with a big spoil that impacted the game from Liam Jones, and dissects a body spoil from Eddie Betts

Taylor completely ignores her to talk about Zac Fisher returning to the side

Still hasn’t mentioned her by name

Daisy repeats her previous comments for the broadcast

Darcy doesn’t reply, throws to Zempilas for analysis on Patrick Cripps injury

Ends with a “we’ll keep an eye on it Baz”

8:22 Darcy throws to Ling for a discussion on holding the ball

Daisy spoke twice with no response and within 20 seconds Darcy had thrown to Ling and Zempilas for discussion

7:30 Cripps takes a one handed mark

General joshing occurs about Cripps “being happy with himself”

He misses the set shot, and another throw to Zempilas for an injury update on Cripps

Taylor ends the cross with a “bit going on….medically”

6:42 Taylor calls a mark to Cunningham, who isn’t playing

6:28 A kick forward isn’t paid deliberate, Ling muses on possibly not being paid due to team-mates being in the area.

Daisy chips in with a “you’d think after the Curnow one was paid” but gets swallowed up by Darcy starting commentating again

6:15 Another cross to Zempilas for an injury update on Pittonet and Jack Martin

He also points out Matthew Kennedys tagging job on Shuey

Taylor proudly states “All over it Baz!”

5:30 Ling praises Zempilas for his injury updates on Cripps

Ling then suggests Cripps play forward and Darcy completes the circle of praise by saying Ling had a good idea pushing Cripps forward

4:26 Goal to Gibbons from a free kick

Daisy jumps in to point out that Carlton are able to get deep entries, and with only one flying, the crumbers can get to work

No one replies

Ling jumps in to dissect the free kick, Taylor puffs up after Lings comments “it’s a good game” and throws to Zempilas for an update on Jack Martin

3:55

Goal to Zac Fisher

Darcy throws to Daisy for her analysis, and Ling then comes in at the end to point out about the danger of Carltons deep entries

He doesn’t acknowledge this is what Daisy has been saying all game

Taylor then praises Darcy for pointing out this is the first game Zac Fisher has kicked multiple goals

3:10 Darcy also again throws to Zempilas for a discussion about which team in WA has the most fans

Taylor calls Zempilas “the lord mayor” and a wealth of knowledge, and Darcy says “he’s all over it”

1:51 Taylor proudly states he knows the names of Tom De Konings parents again

Ling has previously stated more vagaries about Liam Jones has been good and De Koning has been strong

Half time siren

We’re 6 quarters into our study, and Brian Taylor hasn’t thrown to or spoken to Daisy Pearce once…..

3rd Quarter

16:00 Darcy opens the 3rd quarter commentary, saying the Blues have been “unbelievable”

15:39

Goal to Zac Fisher

Darcy references Fishers challenges with injury.

Ling jumps in to mention Carlton are getting the ball long and deep, which Daisy has been saying for ages, before concluding Zac Fisher is having “a lot of fun!”

Daisy tells “Lingy” that the key was the quick entry from Cripps that caught the defence unaware

Taylor completely ignores her to point out Fisher is currently outscoring West Coast

15:05 Daisy points out that West Coast have had 18 inside 50s for 6 scoring shots and Carltons defense is holding up well

Darcy ignores her and switches to talking about Casboults mark

14:36 Lings first contribution of the quarter to continue on (unacknowledged) Daisys theme from before about deep entries, noting as West Coast clear a shallower entry easily

Darcy doesn’t comment, switching to talk about a Kennedy mark

13:10 De Koning is unlucky not to get a free kick for his tackle on Naitanui

Darcy throws to Daisy to discuss how impressive his tackle was and Daisy notes he’s been strong in moving Naitanui off the ball in ruck contests

12:28 Taylor contributes that “the rain Basil forecast hasn’t arrived”

11:30 Kennedy marks and goals

Taylor engages Lingy with his stat that Kennedy has kicked 42.15 to that end of the ground

Daisy makes a comment about Liam Jones decision to mark rather than spoil and comments on the build up to the goal

Darcy doesn’t respond, crossing to Zempilas for an update on Marc Pittonets injury

Darcy concludes with the vagaries of West Coast being a hard team to beat in Perth

11:06 Taylor chips in with the information that Cottrell and De Koning live together

10:52 Ling chips in that Carlton are down 12 in the clearances and praises their defensive work to make up for that

Taylor ignores the comment to keep calling the game

10:35 Daisy points out after a free kick is paid that Nelson was lucky to avoid being pinged for holding the ball

Darcy ignores her to mention Pittonet is back on the ground “as Basil said”

Daisy is starting to sound a little frustrated

9:37 Eddie Betts intercepts and snaps for a point

Taylor calls him a “Snappy Tom Tom Tom!”

9:20 Taylor observes Carltons short handballs have been really sharp

Ling praises him by saying “good pick up BT!”

Taylor proudly preens “his boundary umpire” is throwing the ball in

9:08 Taylor says Walsh has “a big tall brother” coming in the draft next year

8:12 Liam Jones takes a mark

Ling observes he’s happy for Jones to keep trying to take marks and go for it, even with his mistake before

Daisy says that’s why its unfair to mention his mistake from before when the reward is worth it

Taylor ignores all this to keep calling the game

7:24 Ling praises in generic terms the workrate of Cripps and Plowman for force a West Coast turnover

Daisy goes a little deeper to mention that pressure means Jones and the Carlton defenders can push up the ground more

Darcy ignores this to keep calling the game

6:31

Kennedy misses a set shot

Daisy points out Kennedy has only 6 disposals, midway through Taylor gives a “yep” and after Daisy finishes Taylor jumps into with a “rare miss there”

Still hasn’t spoken to her all game

5:29

Darcy engages his special comments team by pointing out Carlton are looking for the long entry inside 50 “that Daisy and Lingy have talked about”

Daisy jumps in to point out if Carlton kick it from where they have it now, it will be a shallow entry and easily defended

Darcy concludes the thought as a long kick goes in that “that’s what Daisy has been talking about”

After Rothem marks defensively, Ling concludes the passage by pointing out that’s what Carlton wanted but West Coast defended it well

4:57

After the ball goes out of bounds, Daisy points out how Carlton have excelled at locking the ball inside 50, noting Carlton have had 11 inside 50 tackles to 4

Taylor completely ignores her and replies with a curt “Baz”, throwing to Zempilas

Zempilas without stats simply says “Carltons pressure has been next level, can they sustain it!”

Taylor proudly says “It has indeed!”

3:38 Kennedy goals to bring it back to 7 points

Taylor vaguely observes “both teams must have watched Richmond v Port yesterday” to sum up the high intensity

No special comments on the goal, Taylor finishes with a joke about too many small forwards in the Coleman

2:50

Petrevski-Seton is called for holding the ball

Taylor says it’s the right decision, and Daisy agrees, saying Petrevski-Seton stopped and propped

Taylor again gives a gruff “yep” in the middle of her talking

Ling mumbles something and Daisy laughs “Lingys not so sure”

2:36

Taylor sums up the goal with more vague “Eagles have a run on” stuff

Ling and Daisy disagree on the holding the ball decision

Taylor lets out a big Triple M laugh and says “Oh boy! If we can’t agree how can you!”

He still hasn’t spoken to Daisy directly, I think that’s as good as it might get

2:05

West Coast win a clearance out of the middle and Kelly bursts clear to hit Darling on the chest

Ling mentions “one thing we can agree on is the West Coast ability to score”

Daisy mentions Carlton have had a problem with centre clearances all season

Taylor ignores her and says “the Shuey handball in tight!” before trailing off

1:51 Darling kicks a goal to put West Coast in front

Taylor begins a discussion with himself as to whether Carlton should go defensive

Daisy dissects the goal, saying its the 8th time this year Carlton have conceded 4 goals in a row

She throws to Lingy for a discussion about what Carlton can do to stop it

Lingy gives it a bit of vague “leaders need to stand up” stuff about Carltons midfield, and Darcy praises him with a quick “as Lingy said”

1:00 Ling gives it more “leaders need to lead” dissection of the game

0:38 Cameron kicks another goal for West Coast

Lings dissection of the goal is Carlton have become reactionary rather than pro-active

0:00 Taylor throws to the break promising to talk to Zempilas about the lack of rain

3 Quarter time

7 quarters into our commentary diary, and Taylor has not spoken to Daisy once….

He’s mentioned her by name once

He’s also promised an update on the rain

4th Quarter

16:00 Darcy starts the call of the final term, excited to see Nic Nat “prowling around” the center square

15:35 Williamson receives a handball but stops and is tackled

Taylor wonders why Williamson didn’t keep going and play on instead of waiting for the handball

Daisy points out the air in the handball meant he had to stop and wait

Taylor mutters “OK” and moves on

As I said, that’s as good as we’re gonna get today

15:15 Taylor goes into an extended monologue to himself about umpires being in a hub and doing it tough as well

15:08 Carlton kick a goal through Setterfield

Daisy praises the Carlton mids for their clearance work and Ling chips in with praise for the entry and positioning

Darcy moves on and resumes commentating

14:55 Docherty kicks along the line, Darcy mentions Docherty and Cripps as the names “Daisy and Lingy really wanted to step up”

14:30 Ling interjects to help Taylor out on a missed touched out of bounds call, Taylor bluffs through with a “yep” then moves on to praising the umpires

14:18 Taylor interjects to point out his Mum has texted him to say the rain is in Mandurah, “tell Baz”

14:00 Ling tells the viewers to watch for Naitanui at the stoppage – when Naitanui wins the tap Darce commends him with a quick “You are all over it Lingy!”

13:50 Daisy chips in with a joke to Lingy, saying “Patty Cripps has been seeing those highlights too!” in reference to Naitanui, Ling laughs, then Taylor comes over the top instantly to say “Naitanui winning taps with monotonous ease!”, killing the conversation dead

12:52 Darcy throws to Ling as West Coast chip the ball around

Ling starts to ponder about West Coast chipping the ball around, how its like possession in soccer and how its to draw Carlton defenders out

Taylor butts in “Waiting for the mouse to bite the cheese Lingy!”

Faux Channel 7 chuckling ensues

12:15 Ling completes his thoughts about West Coast chipping the ball around, saying that West Coast can be confident even if they get a stoppage, they are winning the clearances

Taylor immediately interrupts to point out “it’s great to have the fans back!”, which isn’t related to anything at that point

11:53 Goal to Sheed

Daisy calls the goal and makes mention of how chipping the ball around taxed the Carlton defence

Ling jumps in with a quick “Great call BT” (even though all Taylor really said was great work by Kennedy) and backs up Taylors comments on Kennedy, vague as they were

Darcy and Ling wrap up the segment, with no one talking to Daisy, with a chat about Dom Sheed

10:57 Ling and Taylor have banter about a deliberate out of bounds that wasn’t paid

Ling states that a smother off a handball should be paid deliberate and Taylor says in his best Triple M jokey voice “If thats what the rule says Lingy!”

It ends in banter

10:11 Some general joshing starts about the rain coming

Darcy and Taylor muse on Zempilas being lucky the rain he predicted came

Daisy joins in by saying Zempilas had “his umbrella out like a trophy”

Taylor laughs, but doesn’t reply to her

That’s as good as we’re gonna get

9:39 Zempilas updates on the rain, saying it may yet pass Optus Stadium

Taylors contribution is “it might just be a sudden shower! I loved those when I was a kid!”

8:49 Darcy has a chuckle with Zempilas about his comment “the rain was only on the left of screen”

More chuckling with the boys

8:00 Goal to Dom Sheed

Daisy muses that the West Coast midfielders had a lot of space

Ling runs with that without mentioning Daisy, talking about the poor Carlton set up and called Sheed “Mr Clutch”

Taylor ignores all of that reel off a stat about Carlton being in close games

6:45

Goal to Waterman

Zempilas chimes in with an extended take on Sheed and his average disposals

Taylor approvingly joins in, noting Sheed averages 20 per game this season and is “doing well”

6:21 Taylor makes another joke about funny haircuts

5:23 After an extended monologue on Carlton going wide instead of down the corridor, De Koning can’t hold onto a mark in the goalsquare

Darcy throws to Daisy with a comment about De Koning being a “beauty” and Daisy says whatever happens today Carlton can give De Koning a “big tick”

Taylor jumps in and mentions “he kicked 7 or 9 in a TAC Cup game” and again doesn’t acknowledge Daisy

3:23 Carlton struggle to move the ball cleanly late in the game

After a discussion about how well the West Coast are defending, Daisy tries to join on a Taylor comment by saying how professional the Eagles are

As she talks, De Koning fumbles a mark over the line and Taylor interrupts her to say he looked like “a baby giraffe”

Taylor then thanks De Konings Mum Jackie for telling us how to pronounce his name again

Ling mentions they used to go on holiday in a caravan in Torquay and how it would be rocking with all the kids

Taylor then makes a smutty joke about “yeah it be rocking! De Koning style!”

Channel 7 chuckling ensues

It’s thankfully almost time to wrap this up….

1:31 Daisy tells “BT” that she can see the Carlton players fatiguing, noting how Casboult was running on the ground early with the smalls around him, and now thats not happening

Needless to say, BT doesn’t respond

The next person to speak is Darcy, who throws to Ling for a discussion on Eagles players still to come back in the side

0:00 The game ends with Taylor musing about West Coast as a contender and Carlton losing no friends

Postscript/Conclusion

For the second game in the row, Taylor didn’t throw to Daisy once or answer of her questions and comment on anything she said

He did laugh at one of her jokes, which might be “progress”

Taylor visibly and audibly doesn’t want to talk to Daisy or use her in anyway in the box as an asset

Ling and Zempilas got far more praise from the commentators for far less insight, with Zempilas getting praise for repeating something Daisy said 60 seconds earlier

This may have been worse than the St Kilda game, because Taylor injected some of his “humor” into the broadcast about De Koning and Zempilas predicting rain

As a final thought, Taylor and Daisy did have one conversation that didn’t make the replay, heading into one of the quarters or pre game

It was about unicycles…..

 

Fuzzy little flunkers – Commentary diary #1 (St Kilda vs Essendon – 16/08/2020)

Prologue

Channels 7s gameday commentary is a source of constant ridicule and criticism, particularly the performance of one Brian Taylor…..

During the game between West Coast and Carlton, it was observed by many on Twitter that Daisy Pearce in particular was being ignored by Taylor, and that the commentary was worse than ever

With that in mind, we decided to keep a diary for the commentary on certain games, as a test tracker to see if the criticism was valid

The game today is St Kilda vs Essendon, from 16/08/2020

Commentary team – Brian Taylor, Bruce McAvaney, Daisy Pearce and Luke Hodge (who is at the ground)

Commentary taken from Foxtel replay, so excludes h/t and pre game – clock times are on “countdown” times from the broadcast.

1st Quarter

16:00 – Taylor opens the commentary, first observations about the umpires being “good umpires”, and McKenna should play at half back.

15:38 – Bruces first contribution to the commentary, first observation that “Battle has been impressive”

15:13 – Max King kicks the first goal of the game, with Bruce calling the goal

15:09 – Taylor attributes the goal to “a little bobble”.

First contribution from Daisy Pearce, who mentions how St Kildas patient build up drew the Essendon defenders up the ground and created space out the back.

Taylor ignores this and talks about having faced Ben King recently Essendon have Kings coming at them all over the place.

No acknowledgement of Daisys comments, Taylor throws to the fan zone

14:45 Taylor again mentions McKenna should play half back.

He has a habit of taking one or two points and hammering them into the ground.

That counts as “preparation”

Bruce is “with you BT”

14:00 Luke Hodges first in game contribution is to point out Essendons kicks inside 50 need to be more precise and accurate.

Taylor ignores this and goes on his own tangent about James Stewart.

The first two “special comments” so far, Taylor has ignored.

13:44 Pearce and Hodge begin a longer discussion on match ups, with Pearce commenting on who is running with Jack Steele, noting Langford is coming to him in a tagging role.

Hodge then takes over pointing out Brad Hill is part of a cat and mouse game, where Hill can go to the stoppage but Essendon drop off to try and get some run off half back if there’s a turnover.

13:31 Bruce asks “Hodgey” to keep an eye on Steele for them, the first acknowledgement of the special comments.

12:47 Bruce mentions its significant that Essendon have as many inside 50s as the Saints but average two goals per game less.

Taylor simply responds “absolutely” but doesn’t add anything else.

12:17 Hodge follows up the Steele enquiry from before by mentioning Steele doesn’t seem to be accountable for anyone, he’s free and “doing his own thing”.

Bruce gives a “thanks Hodgey”

11:20 Hodge again, mentioning that he’d have liked Coffield to be bolder with his kick, since he had Battle on his own in the middle.

No response.

11:00 Interaction between Hodge and Bruce as to whether Brad Hill has the “trip” on a kick since Hodge played with him.

10:34 After Hill misses, Bruce throws to Daisy by asking her about Hill being a barometer for the side.

Pearce replies, and the end of her answer, Taylor goes straight into talking about the game.

It’s crystal clear already Bruce is trying to use and engage his special comments people, and Taylor isn’t.

10:18 Pearce comments that with 22 kicks St Kilda are moving the ball forward quickly where as Essendon with 18 handballs are moving the ball slower and thus are under more pressure

Taylor immediately cuts her off and points out Worsfold is on the bench and Rutten is in the box, ignoring her totally

9:09 After Conor McKennas chip to himself running into goal, and the mistake that results, Hodge says McKenna needs to do the simple stuff in those situations.

Taylors muttered “yep” half way through is the first time he’s spoke to either special commentator

8:19 Taylor reluctantly throws to “Hodgey” for some analysis about St Kildas defending….

7:40 Second goal to King – Bruce compares the King twins, Max and Ben, and Daisy says “from experience” you shouldn’t talk about twins together.

Bruce admits “point taken”

Normal banter

7:01 Hodge throws back to Daisys earlier comment about the twins by saying “as Daisy said earlier, we shouldn’t compare them!”, Pearce laughs and Bruce says “we’ll just say he reminds us of some bloke from the Suns”

Taylor still hasn’t said anything to his special commentators.

6:10 Bruce has to tell Taylor who Paton is

As Paton leaves the ground after a collision, Taylor asks “Hodgey” to look at some pre-game footage of Zerk-Thatcher and Hurley working on their defensive positioning.

This is the first time he’s spoken to anyone but Bruce

Hodge explains they were working on maintaining body contact since King as a young man may be outmuscled and drop the mark

Taylor jumps in, as if correcting, that “they were also talking about maintaining body contact!”

5:26 – Essendon goal to McDonald-Tipingwuti, with Hodge on special comments describing the mistake of Zak Jones going for the ball and letting McDonald-Tipingwuti out the back.

No response

5:00 Taylor throws to “Hodgey” for a 2nd time, to describe St Kildas centre clearance work that lead to a mark inside 50.

Taylor still hasn’t spoken to or thrown to Daisy

4:36 After a goal from Tim Membrey, Taylor praises Hodge for his analysis of St Kildas centre clearance work.

Pearce mentions it will do Membreys confidence a world of good, and after no one speaks for a few seconds, Hodge jumps in to point out Membrey is the leader of the forward line

4:24 Taylors contribution on Jack Bytel is, “my son played with him”

3:06 Daisy and Hodge have a discussion about St Kildas next goal, particularly around the Essendon leaders

2:00 Daisy contributes about the amount of space St Kilda have to work with, and Bruce responds with “if it wasn’t for a fumble they could have been right down the ground”

2 minutes to go in the quarter, and Taylor still hasn’t spoken to Pearce at all.

0:31 Bruce back references both special comments Hodgey and Daisy made, continuing to acknowledge and engage his special commentators

0:18 Hodge mentions Membrey has gone behind the ball and Taylor mentions St Kildas “attention to detail” and asks Hodgey about it.

Quarter time siren goes – Taylor hasn’t spoken to or acknowledged Pearce for the entire first quarter

2nd Quarter

15:28 Luke Hodge tells the commentary team Paton is out for the game with concussion, gets a “thanks Hodgey” from Bruce

14:38 Taylors first extended contribution on commentary is to tell the viewers about the number of doctors on a bench.

14:34 Daisy acknowledges the switch of Zerk-Thatcher onto King, and whether Hurley may not be quick enough to keep up with him on the lead.

Bruce mentions “King looked like he’d catch anything” and discusses from what Pearce said whether defenders struggle with the rules in a marking contest now.

13:46 Taylor is frustrated with slow play from Cutler, and mutters “it’s slow play and I don’t know why they do it!”

Daisy jumps in and says “the reason they do it is to protect their defenders”

There’s a pause and Taylor, without mentioning Pearce by name jumps in with “well my point is they aren’t going to score!”

Daisy explains again her point that they go slow to keep their defence intact while looking for a handball receive

Taylor doesn’t acknowledge her

13:16 Hodge acknowledges Pearce is spot on, particularly with what they are trying to do, noting Saad and Gleeson are stationed at half back to run and receive the ball from an overlap handball – however because they aren’t running, it forces Essendon to play a chip mark style

Taylor says nothing

12:30 Despite the explanation from the special comments, Taylor still huffs he can’t understand why Essendon don’t want to move the ball quicker and inside, like the conversation didn’t happen

11:19 Bruce engages Hodgey in a long conversation about the impact of veterans going to other clubs like Ryder and Birchall (and Hodge when he went to Brisbane)

9:35 Goal to St Kilda, kicked by Josh Battle

Daisy acknowledges Battle is playing well, while Hodge is OK with Begley making a mistake because at least it was a positive one and detailing how the option was at least right.

Taylor ignores all this to make a “winning the battle and maybe the war” joke.

8:23 Hodge asks if Saad should continue with his defensive role or be freed up the ground.

Taylor responds with “good question” but doesn’t answer

7:59 Taylor refers to the earlier comment of Hill being “very unselfish”

He still hasn’t mentioned Daisy

6:52 St Kilda kick their 4th goal in a row through Tim Membrey

Daisy says “there’s not much in the free kick” and that St Kildas talls are playing very deep and it increases the pressure on the Bombers defence

Taylor immediately talks as soon as she’s finished, to ask Bruce about why Membrey kicked around the corner

6:37 Hodge jumps in to tell Taylor to get with the times and Taylor is immediately comfortable with Triple M style jocularity

This continues to 6:08, as the game goes on around the joshing

5:27 St Kilda kick another goal through Dan Butler

Daisy talks about how Butler is playing a different role today, pushing up the ground to give space to the talls.

No one responds

3:36 Bruce asks Hodgey about whether Brad Hill was a good team-mate, as the quarter winds down

Taylor talks over him to wonder why a free kick wasn’t paid

1:24 Daisy describes a goal for Essendon by Begley and without interaction Bruce goes into a spiel about Begleys size and stats

Half time

Taylor still hasn’t acknowledged Pearce by name or her existence

Their entire interaction from Taylors point of view has been a gruff “my point is how are they going to score!” while Daisy was telling him why Essendon were going slow.

He’s also talked over her at least twice to butt in with his own points.

3rd Quarter

16:00 Bruce begins the commentary for the 3rd term imploring Essendon to “give us something”

15:27 Daisy notes McKenna has gone back, with Hodge confirming it and saying Essendon need more run and carry.

Bruce semi-acknowledges.

14:46 Daisy mentions Saad has gone to Lonie and moved off Butler.

Bruce says it looked like Ridley had Butler to start the quarter “even though I’m in Adelaide, that’s the way it looks from here”

Taylors contribution is to laugh condescendingly and say “it is a long way away”

Someone sighs really audibly

13:36 Goal to Saad

Bruce acknowledges Daisys eariler comments about Saad being released by saying “it’s a good release and we want more of that!”

Daisy acknowledges him and says Essendon had a conundrum with Saad whether to free him up or use him as a lockdown defender.

Taylor again no sells after a pause, commenting only on the goal being kicked after an advantage.

Hodge makes his first contribution for the term, talking about Essendons extra run off half back and how they moved the Essendon defenders around

Taylor goes straight into commentating

12:08 Townsend marks in the goalsquare

Bruce tries to engage his co-commentators in the possibility of an Essendon comeback

As soon as Bruce tries to bring Pearce and Hodge into the conversation, Taylor yells in “I’m with you if they don’t fart around with the ball!”

11:56 Townsend goals

Bruce tells Taylor if he keeps using that word he’ll be changing Cotchins nappies.

11:50

Bruce asks Daisy if Essendon are a chance – Daisy says they haven’t played well enough to show they can win, but they can score quickly.

Taylor ignores her again and goes straight to telling “Bruce” about how Essendon can win if they give it and go

He then says “As Daisy said, they can score quickly”, marking the first time he’s mentioned her all game

7:12 After a long period of Essendon possession, with not much going on, Saads kick under pressure from Butler is marked by Ryder.

Hodge notes Butler isn’t just in the team for his goals, but his pressure acts as well.

Taylor completely no sells this and mentions how many games Ryder has played.

6:43 Ryder kicks the goal

Daisy mentions how effortless the kick was.

Taylor simply mentions the kick went through with ease, again not acknowledging Daisys comments.

Hodge explains how St Kilda were patient and forced Essendon to kick long down the line and receives a “perfectly summed up” from Bruce for his efforts

6:16 Bruce mentions Hodgeys analysis again

5:10 Taylor goes on an extended monologue about the brilliance of the Channel 7 camera crew showing the viewer how hard it is to get through an AFL Defence with the players all back.

This means he’s praised the camera work of Channel 7 more than Daisy

4:08

Taylor throws to Hodge to ask him about “a funny little passage of play”

Hodge explains he’d like McKenna to run and carry and use his pace

Taylor engages and says he doesn’t mind Essendon trying to switch the angles, it’s the kick down the line he hates.

2:45 Membrey marks on the lead

Daisy makes mention of the work of the St Kilda defenders to cover space, following on from the previous conversation and Hurley not being able to play on

Taylor completely ignores her again and starts talking about Membrey going for another goal

At this point, it seems completely deliberate

2:25 After Taylor commentates on the miss by Membrey, Hodge jumps in to engage with Daisys comments about Hurley

Making particular mention of how Essendons wingers need to work harder to create space

Bruce mutters “great insight” at the end of the Hodge comments

1:37 Daisy mentions Essendons better pressure means the tall St Kilda forwards need to come up the ground, and its forced St Kilda into slower play.

Taylor ignores her again to talk about Zerk-Thatcher

0:33 Goal for St Kilda to Lonie

Neither special comments person chimes in, Bruce and BT talk through

0:00 Stewart misses after the 3qr time siren

End of the 3rd quarter

Taylor has mentioned Daisy by name once, but hasn’t spoken to her about football beyond the gruff “but how are they going to score!” in the 2nd quarter

He’s also completely ignored her at least 7-8 times

He’s praised the Channel 7 camera work more than Daisy

4th Quarter

16:00 Bruce opens the quarter, talking about percentage and how important it is to St Kilda

14:02 Bruce tries to engage Taylor in a conversation about a long goal Shiel kicked a couple of weeks ago

Bruce fumbles trying to remember who he called the goal with and who it was against

Daisy pipes up with “GWS, it was on the run though” and Bruce mumbles a “thanks Daisy” as it’s handed off to Mutch, ruining the narrative flow

13:40 Taylor no sells Hodges comments about Essendon having much better movement in that passage of play

13:02 Hodge praises the pick up of King and his movement then makes a joke about Daisys earlier twin comment.

Bruce joins in that Daisy has some influence and has made them gunshy.

Still Taylor hasn’t spoken to her all game

11:49 Bruce throws to Hodge to discuss if Ryder is in St Kildas best 22

Taylor mentions at the end Ryder missing 3 games in a row and whether he was out of favour at St Kilda as “Hodgey was saying”

8:27 Game is winding down

Hodge mentions Essendon still have a reluctance to go forward and Taylor responds with a bored non committal “yep”

6:36

Goal for Essendon to Langford

Bruce asks Daisy to look at Essendons group of four forward/midfielders they discussed earlier

Pearce responds, and Hodge talks about the goal to Langford

We’re running out of time for Taylor to talk to Daisy

Taylor ends the conversation with a thought to himself about McKernan

6:23

Daisy replies to Bruces earlier comments about Essendons midfielders by saying it’s hard for them to get forward and kick goals when they are set up to work hard defensively

Say it with me – Taylor completely ignores her and talks as soon as she’s finished

5:25

Max King kicks his 3rd goal

Bruce asks Hodgey where he thinks King should play – Hodge says “wherever he wants” (Daisy laughs) – before Hodge expands his thoughts

4:01

Taylor throws to Hodge again, to ask if St Kilda are for real as a contender

After Hodge answers, Taylor urges St Kilda fans to “board the train”

3:29

Bruce praises Hodges insight for how well St Kilda have responded to losses

1:30

Bruce praises Daisy for highlighting Essendons midfielders at the start of the game and throws back to acknowledge

0:43

Bruce against mentions Daisys analysis of the Essendon midfielders at the start of the game and begins a thought about them having big numbers

Taylor butts in with a sarcastic “how many goals!”

Pearce points out a lot of the possessions are handballs, and how the next evolution of Essendon will be use those possessions more effectively

Taylor ignores her one final time, to talk about how well an umpire has done

He’s acknowledged the umpires more than Daisy

0:00

Game ends

Postscript/Conclusion

The most obvious factor in the commentary was Taylor completely ignoring Daisy throughout the call

He mentioned her by name once, and only spoke to her once for the whole game, a curt “my point is how will they score!”

He completely ignored her on almost double digit occasions, and talked over her about as equally

Bruce and Hodge tried to engage with her on a few occasions, and Hodge and Pearce tried hard to provide insight

Taylor provided absolutely nothing to the commentary beyond the kind of things you get in a pack before the game like “there’s 5 doctors on the bench”

There were no rubbish jokes like a normal Channel 7 commentary, and Taylor sounded like he was ticking a box

 

I look to you and I see nothing…

One of the things we wrote about in the last blog was reputation management – the day to management of your brands characteristics, the images you want to conjure, the want you want to manage your own narrative.

There is very little let up in reputation management, particularly in the social media era.

Reputation management is difficult to manage – what words you think are associated with your brand may be a long way from reality. You may think you are a woke, socially conscious brand, an employer of choice, a proud brand for proud times.

Reputation management isn’t putting up a poster or a flier or changing your logo, and it has nothing to do with advertising – its about influence on your own story. It’s about trust, it’s about what would be the first thing people think of when they think of your brand.

Not your ad campaign, not your marketing, not what you think, but what they think, the stakeholders think….

In reality, if you aren’t searching your own brand regularly, if you aren’t paying attention to conversations, to stakeholders, to those affected by your every action, well, its almost impossible to turn it around.

Perception matters, no matter what you think of your own brand…

Dare I say, no matter what you are daring to create…

For those in AFLHQ, they believe that AFLW is still in day one, still a barrier busting glass ceiling shattering up and at em girls can do anything league full of barrier busting ceiling shattering women they can put on posters and throw an arm around for PR and social kudos at appropriate times.

When AFLHQ want to tell a story about AFLW, this is the story they tell – each commentary laced not with tales of elite athletes, not even talking in terms of sport or competition, but cross-country skiers and moms and postwomen and whatever job they want to mention.

On one memorable occasion, it took so long for Kelli Underwood (of ALL people) to list all the pre approved “previous sports” and fluff and stuff and nonsense from the AFLHQ approved bio, the Melbourne player had a shot at goal by the time she’d finished talking….

They also feel they can control it, pack it in a safely assigned summer slot. Summer content, just like AFLX.

Dare we say a gimmick tournament?

One that safely provides content, just in a pre approved slot where Roger Federer isn’t playing, AFLX isn’t on and the Big Bash isn’t hitting any sixes.

Nice and neat.

Just enough to get PR and social kudos. Just enough to have the launch, just enough to get themselves in some photos next to Katie Brennan at the launch, and just enough to tick over a couple of pages in the corporate brochure.

No more, no less. Done and dusted, all on their own time.

Channel 7 don’t mind some of that kudos too, but that’s usually only on the opening night of the season, after that it’s off to 7Mate with AFLW, lest it have to compete with a repeat of the Jungle Book, but we’ll get back to them later.

And there they wish to leave it – in their mind, that’s all the reputation management they need to give AFLW.

Enough mind and attention to put on the games, enjoy a few sandwiches, until the “real stuff” starts right boys?

AFLW has thus been left in the starting blocks as a competition, where fans are still expected to demand no more than “look what we’ve created!” and aspirations, dreams of better and, hell, a lighting budget are subsumed because there’s no care and attention beyond the promotional narrative of day one.

But something has happened along the way, and it ties back to reputation management we’ve covered a lot of this leagues travails along the way. The lack of care and attention to the All Stars game, the missed merchandising opportunities, the accursed memo, the lighting budget, Kane Cornes hosting a show on Womens Footy, Bec Goddard leaving the sport…

Each individual action has chipped away at the reputation of AFLW – through no fault of the players at all. While the league has been happy to take kudos for the social capital of the league, they have mis-managed the day-to-day running of the league to an appalling degree.

Want to know what the drafting and trading rules were for the new teams? They didn’t know. And that’s with 4 more teams coming in next year….

Hey, you over there, our potential new recruit from another sport? Want to play in our league! Well, it’s only 6 weeks long now, sorry, we should have mentioned that…

Want to know when the fixturing will be finalised….October? Maybe….might push it back to November?

Want to know the rules of the competition? Not sure, there might be a memo out next week, check with Channel 7…

Want to know the leagues grand marketing plan? Well….um…we stuck a W on a wall….what more do you want….

Trying to pin down the overall vision for AFLW is thus nigh on impossible.

Should you have had any faith in a grand public relations plan or strategy for the league, a clear pathway, a notion that this league would be allowed to grow, that they had ambitions for the league, well, they should have been long disabused a while back, but today put the cherry on the cake….

The vision has stalled at “Look what we made!” and “Look at the TV schedule for when Channel 7 let us play” – there is no revolution, no strategy beyond that. It’s a gimmick now AFLW, a calendar filler….

And today showed us exactly that….

Forever in debt to your priceless advice

The revelation that despite increasing the leagues teams from 8 to 10, AFLW would somehow combine that with fewer games (6 instead of 7) is a significant slap in the face.

The idea that somehow you grow a league through subtraction, that you tell potentially elite athletes you have them pegged as summer filler to play at the appropriate Channel 7 designated commercial juncture is insulting.

Grow the league through subtraction of games? How does that work? Your sponsors are going to love having less exposure.

We feel somewhat naive in many ways thinking of potential streaming options to broadcast games, of personalised apps, of niche opportunities for members.

AFLHQ won’t even let this competition stand up for itself against other sports, won’t promote the sport beyond its alloted and approved time slots.

We’ve spoken before that AFLHQ won’t think outside of their relationship with Channel 7, that they strangely let a commercial television network decide so much about their product, it’s bewildering.

There are many broadcast options for AFLW, many streaming options, many content hungry providers who could potentially broadcast AFLW.

Instead, Channel 7 get to dictate, get to designate a specially approved time slot in which it is “OK” to broadcast the games.

So much of this stems from TV and what we spoke about last time, the pernicious influence of 7 and their need for goals = ads. AFLHQ are still in the starting blocks again in their marketing and thinking – that they are lucky to just exist, be on TV, they don’t challenge, don’t think of broadcasting outlets.

Instead, it’s Channel 7, in that narrow, allowable TV window…..

And what about that cross code athlete you covet? You think they are going to be lured across with your shorter, lacking in ambition league? A league that won’t stand up for itself? A league with limitations?

When you shrink to the challenge of promoting womens sport, you think you can really go to the market place saying things like “this league is your home” and “this is our highest priority?” – with a straight face? Really?

And as for that aspirant womens coach – one of the things we wrote about previously was the networking opportunities that AFLW was meant to open up. It’s gone the other way, Bec Goddard lost to the sport but AFLM coaches and aspirants getting AFLW jobs because they know who’s doing the appointing.

Now they (if they ever get a job) get a shorter time period and season to communicate, meet people? Feel less important?

In PR we often talk about how our best laid aspirations falter with mis-management. Human beings falter in their communication, that’s understandable. But to claim “the league is your highest priority?” – the glib, passionless statement to try to make it go away – is a ridiculous piece of communication.

Also, as a digression, Craig Moore is right – shouldn’t the CEO of a major sport be more informed about his competition than to ponder the World Cup is a “four-week tournament”, ignoring the qualifiers that start around 2-3 years out?

Who’s running Gils PR department and his public proclamations these days? Is he feeling empowered to deliver ill thought out thought bubbles on every topic? Is there no prep that someone might ask him a question?

In the last blog post we talked about how AFLHQ had lost the ability to talk, to communicate, to spin or to control their own narrative – today was a prime example.

There was no communication strategy, no talking points to get through, not even a thought out phrase, no idea of going into the interview even vaguely informed.

And the less said about the bland, uninspiring, typed out by an intern “statement” from Livingstone, the better….it’s obvious by the way that all professional statements and crisis management strategies should be posted as Instagram stories, that’s how all the major leagues do it…

They lost the narrative to far more passionate, engaged and informed alternative media a long time ago, an alternative media that sees through the spin and now wants more than PR fluff and can see through the narrative and smoke screen that they want to create.

Not to mention the AFLW players palpable frustration on social media at the absolute dis-respect they felt and are feeling – far from feeling like barrier busting women, they feel like sideshow participants in a summer gimmick, second class citizens.

How can anyone be expected to genuinely feel women are important to this game when the fixture contracts, when everything is so vague, when the league goes into abeyance after such a short period of time.

When female coaches aren’t allowed into the fold, but male coaches get full-time opportunities, when the players are in open revolt, when fans have no faith in the future, there’s only so many times you can show a small girl with a footy in the Herald Sun before the gimmick and the PR photo stars to wear impossibly thin.

Reputation management? This is now crisis management, because in the traditions of “for the want of a nail”, the day-to-day reputation of the league was allowed to wither, wane and falter without anyone standing up for the women playing it.

An active sports league would seize this moment to professionally communicate, to assuage the fears, to listen, to engage, but there is no historical proof of AFLHQ listening to female fans, their own players, coming up with coherent marketing strategies.

If anything, their own actions, their own communications serve to talk the league down – the memo, the spirit of the game “initiatives”, the constraints they put on the league…even when they legitimately think they are “helping”, they are either deliberately blinkered or actively sabotaging the league…

Again, we’ll circle back to something we said in an earlier blog post – it was dis-spiriting during the memo days to see our most inspiring of leagues be told by men to look prettier and be more entertaining, like a vacuous entertainment property.

Today was the day that really hit home, and the anger is rising. Do they care? Will they change their narrative? It’s highly unlikely, and it’s getting scary….

It’s a PR entity now, not a sports league, and the realisation that’s what they were telling us all along is totally dis-spiriting….

 

Something sweet to throw away….

Public relations are about telling stories: what does your brand aspire to be?

What words and images do you want your brand to be associated with?

What do you want your audience to believe? Can you engage your audience in a positive vision?

What phrases do you want to stick in their minds? How much do you trust your audience will follow you and believe in you?

Can you make them believe they are part of the vision of the future you wish to sell, that they are part of the transition, even when they aren’t? Can you take them on the journey of re-invention with you?

Once the best PR department in all of sports, AFLHQ has lost the art of basic communication – once the masters of spin, they’ve stumbled and tripped over themselves this year, failing to communicate a vision that their audience can buy into.

That vision that they’ve tried to sell is that AFLM is in trouble, that the game itself is mired in congestion and low scoring and that without radical intervention football itself won’t survive.

Why does there need to be new rules? Why aren’t these trial matches being broadcast or footage made available? What is so bad about the game that it needs this revolution? None of those has been explained, or at the very least none of this has been sold properly to the masses.

For something as emotive as sport, selling change is inherently difficult, but the AFL haven’t even tried. They’ve suppressed all dissent and come up with a vision of the future, without nailing down what that vision actually is, let alone finding a way to sell it.

The best they’ve managed are some helpfully selected clips in David Kings lab of congested passages of play, and over promoting the comments of Malcolm Blight, who’s shown more commitment to complaining than he ever did coaching St Kilda.

They’ve supplemented this by talking down Friday night football, and through using their self invested stake holders to prosecute the case for change without ever explaining it beyond some strange hyperbole.

How AMAZING it would be if they players could just show their SKILLS in SPACE…oh it’d just be amazing!

If they threw their promotional muscle behind listening to fans, promoting the teams and the players of the moment, and promoting the finals and the sense of occasion around the build to September, everyone would be better off – instead, they have changed the conversation to this and this topic? And for what reason?

One of the greatest pieces of self promotion for the rule changes was pushing Patrick Dangerfield out to mutter affection for 2005 when Chris Judd “burst out of packs” – that’s 2005, when Andy D said Sydney were boring and everyone was worried about flooding.

For reasons best known to them, Gil McLachlan chose this to float an off broadway thought bubble than “dead games” could be used to trial some of these exciting new rules (a fast goal square! AMAZING!) in the middle of one of the biggest weeks of the season was an awful piece of communication.

It’s been strange that AFLHQ seems so determined to float these thought bubbles (“AFLX in China! No New York! No Hong Kong with Warwick Capper!”) – even if there is need to get into the papers and dominate the sporting narrative, it’d be better to come up with something fully formed. Why float so many ideas? Hoping one sticks?

Are Gil and Hocking so unsure about their own legacies and determined to be remembered for something, anything, that they want to be associated with Zooper Goals and a Hong Kong hit and giggle in November? It’s genuinely strange, weekly solving problems that just don’t exist….

In a week where Richmond went past 100000 members and in a week where Collingwood and Richmond played at the MCG in the biggest home and away match of the season to date, to fill in that week with negative reactions to Gils thought bubble was beyond strange.

Apart from David King, who claimed a match played under rules trials would somehow be the “biggest ratings match of the year” and Ladbrokes who jumped on board to somehow claim that it would result in a betting surge, the public reaction was a mix of apathy and disgust.

If you take that public relations is the art of managing strategic communication to build mutually assured relationships between an organisation and its stakeholders, AFLHQ have lost the basic art of communication.

After all, reputation management is a crucial part of public relations, tying into brand management and coordinating your personal identity. Success does not happen overnight, but failure often does.

Reputation management is about managing your brands reputation and identity every single day, taking care around the message you want to sell.

And all of a sudden, AFLHQ isn’t coping with reputation management at all well…

They didn’t sell AFLX as a necessary part of the football calendar, and that had the full might of AFLHQ self promotion behind it – from a screeching Brad Johnson screaming how much FUN everything was, complete with shots of kids waving to the camera.

They couldn’t sell the changes to AFLW, even though they tried some evasive words and tried to claim they were “spirit of the game adjustments” – imposing a memo that let in the trolls and haters in to denigrate the call without respite.

And now they are trying to impose rule changes on AFLM, and the best they can use to sell the changes are “game adjustments should give fans calmness”. AFLHQ have favored symbolic PR, the use of emotive positive images about SKILLS and SPACE instead of building a substantive relationship between themselves and the public.

Symbolic communications and emotive language are all very well, but there needs to be clear communication when those symbolic vagaries (“the game will be better!) aren’t enough.

AFLHQ still think the medium (ex players with “influence”, swamping social media etc) matters more than the message.

This hasn’t been the case at all. It’s time to actually change the message and messaging, and provide some substance to the message.

The last thing AFLM wants to do is impose a product on its marketplace that has flaws and problems with the rules, because there are countless sports around that have fallen very quickly from grace.

You can make several small mistakes, but very few big ones…

As an example of AFLHQ choosing the medium over the messenger, The Herald Sun trumpeted on the back page “1/3 of footy fans want the game to change!” – no need to rhetorically ask why the other 2/3 were discounted…

Mark Robinson on 360 (an invested stakeholder) said that AFLHQ should just govern and impose the rules they see fit, which is ultimately what’s going to happen, but it’s a little deeper than that, because the audience still needs to go along with the “new” look of AFLM….

And for obvious reasons, every viewer counts – if they fail to communicate the need for changes clearly, they really could be looking at a bleak future….

The hook brings you back

So in the immortal words of Ric Flair, “what’s causing all this” – there’s two PR strands to all this, one we’ll explore a bit more next time, which is the relationship between AFLM and its commercial broadcast partner Channel 7.

Commercial television needs sport more than ever, in its dying days – outside of sport and the occasional special event like a royal wedding, it’s exceptionally rare for a TV programme to draw more than one million viewers nationally.

Value changes and the emergence of media innovations mean that Channel 7 need something exceptional to have people huddled around the TV to specifically watch their product (any product) and Carlton vs the Bulldogs in a 60-40 game isn’t going to cut it. They need more surety going forward that their Friday nights aren’t blanked out.

Sport is thus vital to a commercial TV stations future. Commercial TV is left paying large amounts of dollars for a product they desperately need, mutually assuring the sport its own financial future.

In return, Channel 7 have a vested interest in more goals – Tim Worner said himself that “the 30-50 seconds after a goal is the most valuable real estate on TV”. In a year of being sold poor Friday night games and games with long time periods between goals, Channel 7 have flexed some muscle and demanded changes to change the TV product that is being served up.

When we mentioned above the AFLW memo and the “spirit of the game adjustments”, that was entirely to do with a game between Carlton and Collingwood that produced 3 goals and immense panic that Channel 7 couldn’t crowbar in enough Special K adverts in the second half.

Channel 7 have a vision (we’ll discuss more next time) of producing a sport akin to the NBA – complete with day-to-day narrative, players that are “open”, and individual superstars. They dream of a league where “any media member can walk up to any player and ask a question”, something they look at with envious eyes towards the basketball.

We’ll discuss next time that in Channel 7s mind, this transaction will allow, say, Brian Taylor to become “co-branded” with a player (lets say Jack Higgins) so you watch that player play, then you’ll want to stick around to watch that player do an interview with Brian (or whoever) on your app later, in an example of niche customisation.

In their ideal world, each player would be interviewed post game, and you could watch that, maximizing eye balls. Roaming Brian is an awkwardly crowbarred attempt to test this dream scenario for 7. The game won’t be enough anymore, it will be secondary to the “entertainment”.

Win, lose, your team, not your team, this is about increasing a television audience – making games into individual events. This obviously needs goals and action and excitement – this is about increasing goals and “action” so people don’t switch off. And obviously, ads are a huge part of that, never forget that.

On top of which, the PR metrics that AFLHQ have used to measure the future are indicative of younger fans drifting to supporting individuals and needing stimulus to stay engaged. This part is going to get worse and worse (in terms of noise) with the Marvel deal next year, turning the noise and volume and “fun” up to extraordinary levels.

In addition to the NBA, the AFLHQ have been keen to spin and create their own version of the Big Bash, and were genuinely disappointed at the resistance to AFLX. The idea of kids coming in with purchasing power is incredibly appealing, and when the Marvel deal ramps up, marketing possibilities truly open up.

When Hocking talks about “game adjustments” or “spirit of the game initiatives” he’s coming up with softening language to communicate the need for change isn’t driven by any notion of sport, it’s driven by the need to create something that is bigger, bolder, something that resonates across multi media platforms.

Synergy. Platform driven. All the made up PR phrases we came up with in 2006 that now seem to be worryingly real….

In an era of media complexity, AFLHQ are seeking to simplify their product to be what a commercial television network wants it to be. It’s a strange decision, understandable given the money involved, but strange.

Manipulating a sport around the notion of keeping people huddled around a television set and around the notion of sitting in front of a box waiting for your Brian Taylor fix…

Humble old football just doesn’t cut it by the metrics they use to measure success, and the risk of a bad game needs to be eliminated as much as possible. Risk minimization, not any sporting notions, are at the heart of everything.

Give the networks a failsafe, and everything seems so much better…

 

No alarms and no surprises…

If there’s one thing PR has taught us over the years, it’s that those who don’t foresee their own obsolescence are always the most startled by their own demise. The world changes on marketers so quickly – changing demographics, long-lost outdated metrics of success being relied on…

AFLM media (as opposed to AFLM football which is rolling on like it’s 1978) hasn’t yet foreseen the obsolescence of several metrics of success they once relied on, and despite the old guard digging in their heels and arguably winning the year, it’s impossible not to feel their time is nearing the end.

Sure, for now, James Brayshaw can cackle airlessly into a microphone about how hilarious it is when a tall ruckman bends over to pick up a ball, the Sunday Footy show can get an entire segment out of Tony Jones teeth (which are VERY funny) and Bounce can lazily milk clips that Jason Dunstall is a pig…

But how long is that going to hold up for before viewers want something fresh?

If this blog has a thematic strand for this season, it’s we’ve hit an old world/new world impasse of football and no one seems to know how to proceed.

If ever there was a moment that summed up the awkward dance, it was Mark Robinson asking awkwardly to Mike Sheahan “how does a 70-year-old man prepare to interview a transgender footballer?” like there was a manual or a course to take.

And in fairness to Robbo, he was genuinely trying – try negotiating the old world/new world impasse on social media, where unfiltered venom passes as discourse, and anyone challenging the old ways of doing things is likely to receive….well you know.

That said, for the first time in a long time, no one seems to truly know what the future of football media is – is it the Beep Test? It’s not the Footy Show. Is it On The Mark with more serious interviews? If it’s not Triple Ms scripted “time for you to cop it” segments, is it more informative commentary? Is it Tony Jones teeth being whitened again?

There’s a lot of awkward discussions behind the scenes about what you the viewer want – and its lead to lots of awkward decisions. Mostly about chasing the new generation of viewer, through Marvel crossovers and AFLX. but the presentation and packaging hasn’t been updated.

Hell even Brayshaw was commentating on AFLX, giggling gleefully that “Big Pruessy!” was on the ball – so no change there at all.

It’s hard to chase a younger demographic with material that hasn’t freshened since the Bob and Lou days, when Stephen A Smith and Rachel Nicholls (for instance) are as accessible as the Sunday Footy Show panel.

Even the “beer with me mates” crowd don’t seem happy with the commentary teams, drifting away from the Footy Show muttering that Dave Hughes killed it off or something as the ratings plummet.

To be honest, there’s a lot to work through when it comes to commercial television – maybe a separate post to cover all eventualities, but the old world won’t go down without a fight. They’ll cling to their old world of ratings successes, lavish lunches and exclusionary ways as long as they can. The day they lose their grip is coming, but it hasn’t come yet…

Which brings us neatly to Channel 7…

No one reads and no one needs

It’s not coming up with a particularly revelatory blog post to say commercial television is lurching towards its own obsolescence, the glory days of forcing to huddle around the box for special episodes of Friends spaced 3 weeks apart a dimly lit nostalgic memory.

What’s strange is in 2018, commercial television still has such a hold over the game – in fact, one PR firm has taken up the cudgels that (wait for it) it’s a PR priority to fix the Footy Show.

After all, in their logic, a prime time football show on commercial television is a vital link to the masses, and simply can’t be lost, no matter how outdated and vitriolic the outbursts from Sam…

See what we mean about a new world/old world impasse…

It’s might also seem hardly revelatory to suggest Channel 7s commentary team are a truly terrible collective – some weeks they don’t know the rules, some times they don’t know the players (Brian Taylor inexplicably yelled out Paul Van Der Haar was flying for a mark on ANZAC Day). They don’t inform, they don’t entertain, they just talk.

It’s hard to find anyone who enjoys their commentary, who tunes in religiously for jokes about in jokes from last week. It’s also long been established by the old world of “beers with the boys!” that Wayne Carey is a top commentator, and if anyone has a problem with it, you are promptly told he could kick a ball really well.

Channel 7 have a station policy that you, the viewer, have a limited attention span, and the way to solve the issue is to cram the airwaves with noise, jokes, sound, Cameron Ling saying a team was feeling the love out there (boys) and then in jokes that reference the jokes from the first quarter.

As such, in their metrics for success if you post (like this blog) about how awful it is, guess what? You’ve joined in the conversation! Tweet out “oh god, Basil!” – and that’s a tick for them. Trust us when we say even negative commentary is gold to Channel 7. Brian Taylor being truly awful in the Sydney rooms gets publicity after all.

Be anything you want, but pick an end of the spectrum they say. Be terrible or great, just get those column inches…

And it’s not as if Channel 7 are above immunizing themselves to criticism – somehow they managed to promote a narrative that falling ratings are all Carltons fault, maybe the Western Bulldogs fault, without ever looking inward at the trope of Basils and Hamishs and Careys and asking if they can do better.

No, it’s the scheduling, it’s the lack of characters, it’s the viewer not being smart enough to enjoy their offerings. You just don’t GET that Lawrence Mooney “big Cox” joke, and its true sophistication. Nothing needs to change inwardly, the viewer just needs to change…

It’s everything BUT Channel 7…

All the things we reference in the first paragraph about medias uncertainties where to go? Whats scary is Channel 7 ARE convinced what they were doing is the right way to go, and plan on delivering more of the same. Their metrics are solid, they’ve convinced themselves it’s you that’s wrong…

Tim Worner actually said he doesn’t think the coverage affects the ratings – which is such a strange sentence to even type, there would normally be just one conclusion to all this. If ratings are down, if interest is down, and everyone hates your coverage, you’d normally look inward, and you didn’t….

…well obsolescence is pending, but there’s just one problem…

This is my final fit, My final bellyache

All of this would be somewhat of an amusing sideshow if it wasn’t for their pervasive influence on the sport.

They don’t think they are wrong, they think YOU are wrong, the viewer is wrong, the schedule is wrong, and since they have the financial investment in the game and because they’ve convinced people like Jon Ralph that TV ratings are still a metric of success, they are pulling off an amazing marketing con trick.

They’ve aligned the “failings” of the sport with a desire to get more ad revenue, and on some levels, it’s quite brilliant. An evil brilliance, but still…

The notion that Gerard, Malcolm and Leigh are huddled around a notepad trying to save the game at their committee from the wicked perils of congestion for the games good is a wonderful fallacy. They are looking to create ways for more goals to be scored, so Channel 7 can rake in more ad revenue.

To use an American phrase, sport is the last “DVR proof” product anyone is relying on, since the days of special event TV and promoting say a Olivia telemovie can’t guarantee an audience. Also a lot of work has gone into the networks naked terror that no one is watching TV after 8:30 pm now, so sport becomes even more important, since it’s the last bastion of show you can’t stream.

The ratings can’t fall through a certain point, logically, since people will watch live sport. But using old metrics, commercial TV ratings still work out to ad revenue like it’s 1996 – so hence the great con trick. Football is terrible! Too much congestion! We must not let it die!

Tim Worner (him again) has already said “I want more goals … That’s the most valuable 30 seconds of screen real estate in Australian television, aside from the 30 seconds after an over.'” in an interview for the Age, and so here we are. We can lament Channel 7s buffoonery for some time, but this is far from a laughing matter.

Talking down football is a strange marketing strategy, but they’ve already pushed and nudged Steve Hocking into forming the committee for ad revenue, sorry, look of the game to find nothing more than how to have more goals. There’s no other outcome to this.

Womens football was the test case, one bad game at the start of the season enough to nudge Hocking and his cohorts into releasing a memo that ruined and derailed the entire season.

Emboldening the critics on the back of one game? Letting every Herald Sun writer disparage women’s football with gleeful poison?

It didn’t matter – Channel 7 wanted more goals, for more ad breaks. It’s that simple. And a three goal game (Carlton vs Collingwood) just wouldn’t do. Everything that derailed the season, expecting support from a commercial TV partner?

No chance women, there’s Special K to sell…

With women’s football, it was easy to somehow convince the old world the problem was with womens football and of course, thus with women, that part is easy to, ahem, a certain demographic  – it’s much harder to convince people whats wrong with men’s football, but here we find ourselves, with Channel 7 playing the same trick and getting the same journalists to call on legends to write about how much better football was in the 20s.

Football may have legitimate concerns about the style and shape of the game, and logically Richmond as Premiers draw more viewers than a 1 win Carlton team, but to ally yourself so clearly with the needs of commercial television and sacrifice your sports best interests for it is a strange decision for AFLM to take in 2018.

You can say Channel 7 pay the bills of course thus can do what they want, but to give up your own governance so clearly to a commercial TV network in its dying days is a potentially fatal blow to the sport. If the goal (pardon the pun) is to increase scoring through artificiality, what does your sport look like? How do you sell that? How do you convince people that you haven’t sold out to television, that this is what people want?

We know the lesson from womens football that artificially increasing scoring via memo mid-season ended up pleasing no one. Shootout football isn’t necessarily much better than defensive football when it’s artificial, but lets not pretend this is an aesthetic debate anymore. The message is clear – by fair means or foul, you are getting more goals.

Will it be evolution or revolution? What marketing message are you left selling – will anyone enjoy more a Channel 7 influenced score fest with no change to the commentary stylings? Will more people tune in to watch a shootout with Brian Taylor still wandering around the rooms?

Channel 7 again think the viewer is the problem, and they’re planning to bet the style of the game on it….

 

I paved the road that would one day leave me lonely

It’s been a strange week for anyone who follows PR closely. It’s actually a strange time in general. We’ve talked before about the strange ways of social media, the way trying to keep up with memes and trends on social media is impossible, since cynicism means as soon as something is “in an ad” the trend is over. Strategies are more difficult than ever to select – and we all live in a PR bubble, and we don’t know what you think, you pesky consumers.

PR is basically split on whether to go big or go small, to produce a lot of little content or one piece of content. The big ad or the little ad. The constant tweets or the big TV ad like the old days? Repetition or a burst of activity? No one really knows anymore. Marketing is tough, with people chasing those damn millennials and their streaming options.

We’ve spoken before about how a lot of marketing campaigns fail because after the initial launch event (and launch events aren’t anywhere near as important as they used to be) there’s a distinct lack of care and attention paid to following up.

So if you are launching a sports competition from the ground up, be it season 1 or season 2, what do you choose? The big splashy launch or the smaller events? Cost effective strategies or getting a big brand influencer? Give the people what they want or tell them what they want? A big PR stunt or one hour of photos at Etihad stadium?

Marketing is as much in the hands of the public, who are becoming more and more informed. A carefully constructed marketing campaign, a new logo, a new slogan…it can be ripped apart in seconds on social media. Then again, some companies think that’s good. Anything is better than being ignored. Ask the Channel 7 commentary team, by policy encouraged to be terrible at times just to be noticed…

Grass roots social media campaigns terrify people in marketing, who work backwards in a hurry to try to work out the joke and the reference point. Marketers will often take credit for things they don’t have any involvement with purely because they understand it better than anyone.

It’s hard to work out sometimes the balance between niche marketing (which sometimes is claimed by companies as their brilliant idea in the first place to cover up the fact that they didn’t really have a plan or an ad campaign ready to go). Oh it was niche, totally niche, you wouldn’t understand, our 1 tweet every 6 weeks was a real winner of a strategy…

With AFLW, AFLMHQ doesn’t understand what it has, and how to market it, but boy howdy will Gil be in the photo when there’s a big crowd at Perth Stadium…

That said, a lot of people are still going to go to the old ways – sheer bloody minded determination to use big personalities, big campaigns and splashy graphics. It’s like the big ad campaigns of Coca Cola in the past, like Robin Beck was singing her heart out in the 80s.

This blog post is a recap of two marketing styles: one shiny, brash, determined to scream THIS IS FUN in big bold letters over and over until the message sticks, featuring brand influencers, video teasers and buzz words. The other is more grass-roots, ignored and shoved into the corner for this shiny new toy.

This is a recap of the week that was AFLX vs AFLW…

Get em high for this

AFLX, the AFLs shiny promotional toy, got to kick itself into overdrive, to the point where no fewer than 5 of the 10 featured videos on the AFL website referenced AFLX – North Melbourne “loving” the game in the sun, BJ Goddard talking about how much he loved it, and Dangerfield “grilling” Gil on the fun in store among the treats you could click on and “enjoy”.

That’s on top of a twisting MS Paint equivalent video explanation of the rules, individual club websites asking fans to “send in your dream AFLX team!” from their list, and battering the key words through every article: fast, unique, fast, kids, fast, revolutionary, fast. And of course….fast….

The most dis-spiriting moment of the week though was a breathless live cross from Tim Watson to generic male door stop reporter 8732 for a release of (GASP!) the fixture, and the announcement each of the three nights of AFLX will have a grand final at the end! Yes, YOUR team can be one of only THREE AFLX Premiers! There might even be a T-shirt!

In pure PR terms, getting Dangerfield, Goddard, North Melbourne and others to endorse this is pretty obvious marketing. We talk often in marketing about brand influencers, and clearly at some point the word went around from AFLM HQ that it would be, ahem, “mutually beneficial” to get at least some AFL stars out there.

After all, if Dustin Martin wanders onto the ground for 3 minutes and kicks a goal from the back line, that’s the shot for the promo right? Not to mention our budding little interviewer Dangerfield joining in the fun. Don’t forget to say “unique” and “fast”, that’d really help us…

While a few years ago PR people struggled badly to understand brand influencers, and buzzed around YouTube wondering who these new people talking into steadicams were and how to make money off them, it’s still just a fancy new word for the old celebrity endorsement. AFLX is about ensuring at least one person per club is on board to pump out the publicity. It doesn’t matter who, it’s content. Constant, loud, blaring content…

On top of this, we’d imagine the launch event is going to be VERY loud and aggressive. This is the build up to the launch event. We don’t know what it is going to be, but it’s going to be in your face. This is the marketing strategy. It’s slick, it’s omnipresent, and it’s just getting started…

Meanwhile, in competitions they’ve forgotten exist…

I am sinking in this silence

While everyone was getting tizzied up about AFLX, the AFLW competition was left to fend for itself. There was one at least one positive: the release of the AFLW app. This is an immense positive, and hopefully produces a lot of promised “different content”. We’ve spoken before about how much we hope that AFLW players get to speak in their own voice and their own style, and if the app gives them that, nothing but positives for that on all levels (marketing included)

There were other positives: the fabulous Lily Mithen got to work on a podcast which is always fantastic, clubs held launch events and we’ll never tire of seeing those “one team” club photos where the M and W teams are in the same photo. Also, Daisy Pearce got a key role on SEN radio, hopefully without being told by Hamish McLachlan to commentate on a boundary thrown in (also without the patronising “well done” at the end).

But again, other than the app, this wasn’t anything AFLM HQ did to support their own product. The Mithen podcast? Done by Channel 7. The launches? Done by the clubs. Daisy Pearce? That was SEN. The ad campaigns? Well we’re waiting on those. The promotional material, the AFL launches, the cross promotions with mainstream media? Um…did you see we have an app?

AFLMs idea of promotion was to tweet us out a little tweet to show us how much they are promoting AFLW in response to a query about AFLW promotion. That clip? A 25 second video promoting Perth’s new stadium, featuring no mention of Fremantle or Collingwood (who are playing there), the date of the game, or any female footballers or any kind. We’re sure it’s a fabulous stadium full of craft beer, but the clip didn’t exactly inspire confidence that AFLW was a priority to HQ…

That was on top of the revelation that AFLW was being shunted for the most part onto 7Mate, the secondary channel. We talked before that there was something dis-spiriting about seeing the most inspiring of female competitions shunted onto a channel originally designed to be a paradise for Alpha Males (the original launch teaser for 7Mate was just the word “Mate” said in a Straayaan voice over and over).

We spoke as far back as last year about the AFLW State of Origin game being woefully under promoted compared to James Brayshaws return to the commentary box in the Whitten game and that there was little to no merchandise available to buy. It’s gotten worse since then.

AFLW still doesn’t have a visible ad or presence in media, and it’s being noticed and felt. Brisbane Lions player Jessica Wuetschner tweeted out “although there has been little to no media or promoting of the AFLW season, just know that we all have faith that the incredible fans from last year and more will turn out in spades and support us in the 2018 season” – when one of your own players is mentioning you haven’t got off your ass to promote the season, you’d concede you have a problem.

It’s too late now for AFLW to hit the ground running in terms of marketing: to recap, there’s no televised ad campaign, no presence in mainstream media, a tweet of a stadium is seen as “promotion”, the website didn’t have/doesn’t have practice scores live, and the whole competition has been shoved hard into a corner. It’s AFLX that dominates the airwaves, and we must all pay attention just in case 1 person in China might pick up the game…

After all, Gil hasn’t sat down for a “grilling” from Katie Brennan or Daisy Pearce has he…

Drinking in the summer, I’m good at running

There’s no right way to launch a product or a league, but something we talk about often is this is the content era: we’re constantly aware that leagues or events or businesses that don’t engage and produce content are doomed to failure. AFLW being left to fend for itself its a dis-spiriting marketing reality. It also makes no commercial sense.

It truly is strange that rather than engage a female audience, Gil McLachlan and his Dangerfield style chosen group of endorsers would choose to pursue a one in a million chance of getting a game of AFLX in China rather than a consumer friendly pursuit of young female fans who want to buy and purchase and engage.

AFLX is about grabbing all the buzz, the tweets and the hashtags, and to do that they’ll gain any marketing advantage they can, no matter what it is: did you know you can kick a goal FROM THE BACKLINE! And Brendon Goddard likes it? And North Melbourne loved it? And everyone loves it? And Simon Lethlean loves it? If you don’t, you soon will…

This means – app aside – there’s no time to focus on anything else. AFLW is left to be its own thing, its own entity. There’s no momentum going into the new season, and when the two competitions collide on the 17th of February, we know where the marketing muscle goes. AFLW is now officially a grass-roots movement again: back to being on trial, back to having to prove itself. Back to having to challenge people to support it, hope that they come out and find out the fixturing through word of mouth.

So yes, AFLW is officially back to square one in a marketing sense…

The positive in a grass-roots marketing effort for those relatively unconcerned about the AFLW summer of slumber is that the hardcore rusted on fans can find the information they want through alternative media, through like-minded podcasts and social media corners far away from slick marketing.

An alternative media future for AFLW sounds good, but if AFLM loses interest, who knows where that can end up? Are there enough AFLW alternative podcasts that can be created to show we care? There’s no evidence of care and concern or even a plan from AFLM. AFLX? That has a plan, and it’s loud, and it’s constant and it’s screamed from the heavens. AFLW? They still don’t understand it, they wing it, and every low attendance can be an excuse to give up. That’s the AFLW strategy, every day is a trial, prove you want it…

AFLX? You WILL want it. That’s the difference…

Of course, that grass-roots movement so glowingly talked about in season 1 now essentially has to start again, be on trial again, and show up another AFL endorsed, Patrick Dangerfield blustered shiny toy…whichever marketing campaign you believe works the best, it’s a dis-spiriting way to start the year…

 

But I know the light’s on in the television, trying to transmit, can you hear me?

It’s not breaking any revelatory industry secrets that Channel 7 openly instruct their commentators to be “personalities” – they aren’t alone in that. Over the years, Channel 9s Sunday Footy Show turned Dennis Cometti into a jukebox by challenging him to put song lyrics into his Sunday commentary, 3AW once had so much “fun” in their commentary hitting a sound effects button they forgot to commentate on a goal, and of course Channel 10 would find any random visiting celebrity from Hulk Hogan to Miss Poland to be subjected to the standard “how much do you like Australia!” grilling of Mark Howard. However, at 7, it’s virtually station policy. Everyone has a nickname, everyone joins in the fun. It’s enshrined of course by Brian “Bristleman” Taylor, who has taken this year to spending time on bubble bath, people in the crowd who look like Elvis, and asking Josh Gibson what flavour of Gatorade he drinks. This is absolutely deliberate. Analysis is considered passe’ at 7. Troublesome. Bothersome. The coverage is set up to be like Twitter, the infamous “firework show” Colin Cowherd always talks about. If the game is poor, stay tuned! There will be a band on soon! Bristle will say something soon! Basil will make a “Curnow the Frog” joke and hope it sticks. Bruce might go off his head! Hamish McClachlan might say Winx and Sally Pearson are both female athletes! Wait, what? That actually happened? Oh…move on…

It’s the kind of thinking that converts long form writing websites into video only websites recapping TV shows, a la Fox Sports in America. The presumption is intellect and wit and insight are not going to hold your attention, but grabs and something to react to will. A tweet the commentators can react to is so important. If you are providing insight into the game, it’s positively discouraged. Stats and fuzzy logic and clichés are OK, but nothing too far. The belief is that a viewer, taking you “inside the game” doesn’t need to be too taxing. Big graphics do a lot of the heavy lifting. Research and insight at Channel 7 doesn’t even need to extend to knowing the players names some of the time. Basic errors and sloppy fact checking doesn’t matter. Even in the face of withering criticism of its commentary style, this emboldens them. After all, through the old PR staple of the reclamation of negative imagery, Channel 7 puts the (less sweary) critical tweets of the post match Wandering/Roaming Brian segment to air. Because if you react, you are “part of the conversation”, and that’s all that matters. Taking the time to tell the viewers something they might not know might interrupt that flow. And so that’s where we find ourselves, where even Bruce has become a parody of himself…

Into this world thus steps Daisy Pearce – Pearce brings a fresh perspective, an insight into the game as a current player, a champion player of her sport, an outstanding current football player not yet spoiled by clichés and beaten down by production notes. Pearce has even transcended the usual “what is a woman doing there!” twitter chest beating that besets, say, umpire Eleni Glouftsis. In fairness to Channel 7, they didn’t fall into the horrendous trap that Channel 10 did with Kelli Underwood where they presented her as if she was perpetually on trial, perpetually on a week to week basis like a rule change or a NAB Cup experiment. Pearce turns up and does her job, with insight, knowledge and research. She could easily anchor her own show without fuss. There isn’t a right or wrong way to launch a media career – after all, the disparate ends of insight are provided by Nick Dal Santo (closer to the Pearce end of the spectrum) and the clickbait of Kane Cornes. Both pitch to different markets of course, but given Channel 7 have a point of difference in a horrible clickbait year for media with Pearce, and the opportunity to use this gift is right there. From a PR perspective, using this natural gift is a no brainer.

So St Kilda play North Melbourne at Etihad Stadium. The theme of the game? Nick Riewoldts final home game. An easy game to bring the viewer at home into, to sell the emotion of the moment, as well as talk about the respective seasons of the two teams as they wound down. However, Channel 7 decided to take a different approach. After kicking a goal, Riewoldt was rewarded not with commentary that acknowledged the roar of the crowd or the emotion of the moment, but Leigh Matthews talking about the art of the drop punt, trampling over the moment. Brian Taylor talked for more than a minute about a fan who looked like Elvis. There was a discussion about long hair and man buns. Even aside from using Pearce on the boundary line for insight, they were with a contemporary champion of the game, Luke Hodge, and Leigh Matthews, the greatest player of all time ™. They eschewed any of their insight, and instead Taylor and co-commentator Hamish McClachlan roped them into the “fun”. At the end of the game, both Channel 7 and Fox Footy hurriedly cut away from the post game to go to other things. The game was secondary to chatter, to noise, to fun to fill in the time. There was no insight, no attempt to engage or enlighten the viewer.

In the second quarter, they threw down to their rising star Daisy Pearce, and invited her to get in on the fun. They took their champion footballer who is their best asset and invited her to use that insight to commentate a boundary throw in. Brian Taylor in a whispering, encourage voice, prodded her into describing that difficult task to the viewers of just how an umpire throws the ball 18m. After completing this desultory task, Hamish McClachlan rewarded the little woman with a verbal pat on the head and a patronising “well done” like a 1950s secretary had done the typing. Later, there then ensued a horribly awkward conversation about Daisy being a midwife and ready to drop everything to deliver a baby, that proved Taylor is as adept at talking to women as Mark Robinson is on 360, a textbook delivery of awkward, stilted banter straight from the Channel 7 top drawer. In a swoop, in one game they had encircled her into the Channel 7 fold, turned her into “Dais”, a Channel 7 personality, and given her a patronising bit of support for her efforts. That was of course before moving onto Brian Taylor talking about Etihad Stadium hot dogs or “Hammer” turning a players surname into a pun…

We’ve spoken a lot about stale media this year, about the growing disparity between viewers seeking something different, something of genuine wit and insight. In truth, the gap in this game was a chasm. Channel 7 genuinely believing the negative reaction to Brian Taylor is just viewers “joining in the conversation” means they are immune to this change in taste. That they can immune themselves to anyone who isn’t “part of the fun”, as long as the react. He polarises opinions! That’s good enough for us! A commentator who people respect but who doesn’t move the meter is the absolute last thing Channel 7 want. If you vote Brian Taylor the worst commentator in the game, you’ve “engaged”. That much from a PR point of view is clear. Either be terrible or great, but get a reaction. We know how that works. What happened with Pearce though was patronising and tonally deaf. Instead of drawing on her insight and having her in the commentary box, they gave her a task as if she was at her first game, then simpered insultingly that she had managed it. Pearce deserves much better than that – instead of nurturing a natural, likeable ability that transcends even Twitter trolls and the acolytes of Triple M, they put her in a T-shirt and made her seem, even unwittingly, like a lesser commentator. It was positively horrible in tone, and in execution.

In 2017 media, we don’t expect much, and somehow, they can’t even manage that…

Subjected to the system, you’ll turn into a clone

I was always struck by something David Smorgon said when the Western Bulldogs sacked Jason Akermanis. When he said “We respect unique individuals, but unique individuals still need to play by team rules” – the ultimate contradiction, the ultimate guide to the male sporting environment. This is not a Collingwood post, but it references Collingwood. It’s a post about conformity, about something that isn’t discussed a lot in AFL. In PR, it’s our job to make sure that messages are delivered in a way that seems authentic, but in dealing with football clubs, we’re also dealing with subjugating some uncomfortable realities. Realities that are equally applicable to any workplace. Any time there is a social equality message, a message of tolerance, a message of support to a cause espoused by “the club captains”, in PR we’re totally aware that not everyone delivering the message is on board. Anyone who’s ever even been vaguely involved with one of those pre season talks about new rules, or how to properly use social media, or worst of all, a talk delivered around tolerance to women, is fully aware you aren’t engaging the whole room. There’s nudging, there’s giggling, there’s yawns. It’s the part of the game that remains unsurprising. It’s a male environment, and the dichotomy is that an AFL team, while everyone is publically on board with social equality, they are sharing e-mails about which girl in a shoot is the best looking. I’m not breaking any ground in telling you this…

In truth, AFL clubs are models of conformity. There’s a reason why Jason Akermanis, Jack Anthony, Phil Carman…the list goes on…a reason why they are estranged from the fold where as, say, Wayne Carey, “Fev”, Gaz…the list goes on…why they are welcomed back to the fold hastily in spite of seemingly far more serious crimes, actual crimes. The reason is simple – there is no crime quite like being a bad team-mate. Failing to conform is still the worst, most isolating crime in an AFL club. In a Male sporting environment. Terrell Owens in the NFL. Scott Muller in cricket. There’s no greater sin. The footy trip, the putting up with jokes no matter how brutal, the chasing of girls (we’ll get to that in a second), the drinking. Very few people are able to genuinely not fall into the traps, the desire for conformity in a male sporting environment. Very few Jim Stynes. It is, as they say, how it is. It’s what the Footy Show has espoused for many years, what Triple M espouses, it’s codified into the DNA of AFL. It’s why Eddie McGuire is so keen on “loyalty”, why people even in 2017 are willing to “die for the jumper”, why going outside the tent is still impossible…

Like I said, this isn’t a Collingwood post, but it is about the Collingwood football club, in regards to that conformity, purely as illustration. In her strangely overlooked book, “How to Dress a Dummy”, Cassie Lane recounts her time as a WAG, dating Alan Didak. She describes how the WAGs were grouped together by Eddie McGuire prior to one function like a team for a pep talk about how they were representing Collingwood. How Didak reacted to her wearing a low cut top by asking if she was “asking to be raped” – about a world where females around the players were either regarded as good girls, marriage stock, or wanton predators. How she was hounded out of a function by staring eyes because Didak was out of control and SHE was blamed for not keeping control of her man. In a similar vein, Heritier Lumumba has spoken about his experiences tackling racism and sexism inside his football club for a forthcoming SBS documentary. Most notable to me at least, and unsurprisingly, given his penchant for footy style loyalty, Eddie McGuire never forgave Lumumba for challenging him post Adam Goodes live on AFL 360. The quote was “thrown under the bus”. Bad team-mate, not to be trusted, ship him off….

Now, in both cases, these tales are simply illustrative anecdotes, not attacks on Collingwood (who deny or at least gently refute the tales). They are textbook examples of everyday PR in 2017. For Lane and Lumumba, failure to conform was swiftly dealt with, because conformity is now as in demand as anything. More than ever, safety, caution rules. Why put out a fire when you can avoid a fire starting? Why deal with recalcitrant thinkers, those challenging? Bland everything down, keep everything conformed. At least publically. Privately, nothing has changed. Just don’t get caught. Don’t be public. Take it to Las Vegas. For gods sake, take it to Las Vegas! As much as football clubs promote one thing, they privately deal with another, every single day. As long as you don’t question or think too much, everything is just fine…