Fuzzy Little Flunkers – Commentary Diary #4 – Western Bulldogs vs Geelong (28/08/2020)

 

2020-08-29

Prologue

Channels 7s gameday commentary is a source of constant ridicule and criticism, particularly the performance of one Brian Taylor…..

During the game between West Coast and Carlton, it was observed by many on Twitter that Daisy Pearce in particular was being ignored by Taylor, and that the commentary was worse than ever

With that in mind, we decided to keep a diary for the commentary on certain games, as a test tracker to see if the criticism was valid

The game today is the match between the Western Bulldogs and Geelong

Commentary team – Brian Taylor, Bruce Mcavaney, Wayne Carey, Daisy Pearce and Luke Hodge (at the ground)

Commentary taken from Foxtel replay, so excludes h/t and pre game – clock times are on “countdown” times from the broadcast.

1st Quarter

16:00 Brian Taylor opens the commentary, noting the contest between Stanley and English as the ball is bounced

Taylor also calls a kick from Bontempelli “a beautiful stroke”

15:43 Someone in the crowd yells “THEY CAN HEAR EVERYTHING WE SAY!” and Taylor mentions it

15:31 Taylor begins a sequence on Guthrie and ropes in “Duck” to discuss Menegola, Guthrie and Hawkins playing every game and they’ve all had good years

Careys first contribution to the broadcast is a quiet non committal “yep, all in good form”

15:26 Bruce joins the broadcast, referencing some of Daisys pre game comments about the Bulldogs

14:58 Dunkley lines up for a set shot

Carey chips in a couple of vagaries about Caleb Daniel being a “good user of the footy” and the Dogs want the ball in his hands

14:48

Goal to Dunkley

Bruce says someone nailing a set shot early “sets up the scenario for the evening”

Taylor ignores him to talk about other matters

Carey notes the Dogs went backwards to go forwards to get space, and trails off on a thought about inherited flaws from his Dad with his kicking action to say “I’m prepared to say he’s a better kick than his Dad”

14:45 After a recalled bounce, Daisy chips in with a thought about Geelong being aware of Caleb Daniel and planning for him pre game

Taylor completely ignores her to mutter about “Dangerfield, with his socks pulled up really high”

14:02 Bruce notes Geelong have started cold

Taylor says “yep, funny old start” and the conversation ends there

13:58 Taylor says the game has “a strange start, a lot of quietness about it” without context

13:44

Goal to Crozier

Carey notes it’s a similar build up to the first goal, and Daisy chips in the Dogs went backwards to go forwards and wonders if its a plan by the Dogs

Daisy repeats her thoughts for the network audience (expanding on it as a tactic) and Carey joins in to note both goals were set up by Dogs half flankers pushing up the ground

12:14 Mark to Bontempelli

Carey tracks back to critique a lazy handball by Bruce and then mentions to Daisy about how Bontempelli was looking to give it off after his mark

Carey is more than happy to engage with Daisy and her thoughts, and sounds more energised than the last commentary

11:36

Goal to Bontempelli

Bruce mentions Geelong have to play catch up footy, no one replies

Taylor throws to an extended package on Luke Beveridges birthday party with the players

Bruce mentions it was lucky that Beveridge wasn’t about to tear strips off the players and then straightens up and gets back to calling the game

11:11 Mark inside 50 to Naughton

Luke Hodge chips in for the first time to mention the Dogs are kicking at 100% efficiency to Geelongs 29%

No one replies

10:42 Carey chips in to observe Naughton is moving up and down the ground to run the older Harry Taylor around

Brian Taylor ignores this and moves on

10:12 Taylor chips in out of nowhere the Dogs are 4-2 at Metricon this season

Bruce moves on with the commentary

9:15 Mark inside 50 to Liberatore

Carey mentions the match up of Henderson on Naughton and wonders if the match up has changed, and points out how Wallis blocks out Taylor from getting to the contest

8:52

Goal to Liberatore

Daisy mentions Geelongs poor kicking means they can’t control the game, and have made several costly turnovers

Hodge points out Taylor can’t go over the top because of the block from Wallis, and mentions Daisy was “right” about the poor Geelong kicking

Bruce finalises with a thought of Geelongs defence giving up goals

8:49 Bruce throws to “Hodgey” to discuss Geelong being cold

Hodge praises the intensity of the Bulldogs instead

8:12 Bruce mentions to “BT” if the Dogs kick one more goal he’s hitching his wagon to the Dogs

Taylor more or less ignores him to give inside 50 stats then calls Tom Stewart “Enright” and says Enright is using the ball well

I feel like this is some kind of marker for the commentary this year…..

7:48 Miers and Tuohy have some confusion inside 50

Taylor starts to wonder if Miers should have gone for it, Carey mentions he looked confused

Daisy chips in to point out confusion in communication between Miers and Tuohy then engages Carey to discuss what happens as a forward when someone is in your space

Carey engages in return and discusses the play

7:37 After a behind Carey says to Taylor “no excuses you can’t hear the voice with the small crowd BT”

Taylor simply responds “yep”

7:28 Hodge chips in to note Dangerfield has had one possession and the Cats are missing Selwoods hard edge around the stoppages

Bruce concludes “good call Hodgey”

6:57 Hodge chips in to mention Vandermeer has left the ground injured and after a beat that he’s gone down into the rooms

Taylor concludes with “thanks Hodgey”

6:27 Taylor concludes a thought about Hayes and Dickson playing their first game for the year by saying “the Western Bulldogs have only had the one debutant this year”

They’ve had 5

As an added bonus they then cut to one of those 5, Vandermeer, in the rooms

Everyone just moves on

5:42 Carey re-iterates some of Daisys early themes on the Dogs going backwards and trying to isolate the Geelong defenders one on one

Taylor ignores this

5:30 Daisy expands on these thoughts by mentioning it also stems from Geelongs turnovers, which don’t let the Cats defence get set

Taylor also ignores this

4:32 Dangerfield hits Hawkins lace out with a pass

Hodge praises the kick and how hard it is to defend

Taylor also ignores this, meaning he’s ignored his 3 special commentators inside a minute

4:10 After Hawkins misses, Carey doubles back to praise the kick of Dangerfield, with Daisy chipping in about how Dangerfield made the kick at full speed

Bruce moves on with the commentary

3:40 After a Menegola spoil, Daisy points out the wingmans role in pushing back to help the defence, and mentions how the Geelong defence was caught too high up the ground by a Bulldogs handball

Bruce joins in to mention that you don’t see such transitions against the Cats all that often

3:30

Goal to Richards

Bruce mentions Daisy “pressed that record of yours, handball back, handball back”

Daisy says she’s not sure if the Dogs have done it as a plan or if its because the pressure from the Cats hasn’t been there and that’s given the Dogs opportunity to do it

Carey repeats more or less what Daisy has just said, noting the lack of Cats pressure

They cut to the Toyota Fanzone and Taylor says “Is that Scott West bottom Left! I think it is!”

Carey nudges him that Scott West was actually middle right and has a good laugh as Taylor moves on muttering “he was there somewhere”

1:04 Mark inside 50 to McLean

Hodge joins to mention the Bulldogs have taken 6 marks inside 50 when the Cats only give up 5 per game

0:30 Goal to McLean

Bruce laughs with Carey and Daisy if anyone wants to change their tip

Bruce says “2016 anyone?” and “Mmmm…..right now…mmmm” in an insightful moment

Taylor mentions the vagary “the Dogs best football is good enough”

Daisy mentions the stat that the Cats have already conceded 25 points from turnovers when they concede 28 per game on average

Taylor completely ignores her to say “6 goals behind is a longgggggggggg way back”

0:00 Quarter concludes with Taylor saying the Dogs are “slick, and fast, and ready to play!”

The broadcast tonight seems to be more about the other 4 trying to discuss the game and Taylor being left behind

Daisy is tonights main special comments person

Taylor still hasn’t spoken to Daisy, making it 9 straight quarters

2nd Quarter

16:00 Taylor opens the quarter calling a crooked bounce and saying “all the bounces have gone left of screen”

15:41 Another Taylor vagary as he says the Cats “don’t need to trim all of it back this quarter but must trim half of it back”

15:22 Bruce mentions 2016 again, continuing one of his themes

He observes Dunkley in the ruck and how they did it in 2016 without a genuine ruckman

Daisys first contribution to the quarter is to mention how doing that gives the Dogs another genuine midfielder with Bruce following up Blicavs can play the extra number around the stoppage for the Cats

Bruce tries to drag Taylor into the conversation by referencing English, but Taylor trails off on his on thoughts about the number of Dogs that have played every game

14:41 Taylor calls something a “snappy Western Bulldogs style handball”

14:35 Bruce mentions 2016 for the 4th time in the quarter

He and Carey talk over each other for a bit

13:50 Tuohy comes off the ground

Taylor says he’s cradling his left arm and hits Carey with the question “hows he looking”

Carey says “he’s not looking well!”

Daisy jumps in to say Tuohy wouldn’t leave the ground easily, and Taylor ignores that to speculate “maybe rib”, Hodge at the ground concluding it seems more rib

This discussion completely misses a 50m penalty and a Johannisen shot at goal, so Bruce has to back track and analyse the 50

12:20 Mark inside 50 to Miers

Hodges first conversation of the quarter is around Geelong lifting their defensive intensity

11:55

Cats get their first goal through Miers

Bruce mentions “Hodgey, and Duck, and Daisy” in talking about Geelongs increased defensive intensity

Taylor moves onto a replay of Tuohys injury and Carey critiques Miers “unusual” kicking style

Hodge chips in that Tuohy is OK to continue

11:41 Bruce mentions in response to Tuohy coming back on “The Irish coming to the fore eh! The good old Irish!”

Someone nervously coughs and they move on

10:49 Taylor mixes up Tim English and Alex Keath

10:03 Hodge expands on a Bruce point about Geelongs defence slowing the Dogs down by explaining the Dogs are going backwards, where as in the first quarter they were able to go sideways and still have territory

Earns a “thanks Hodgey” from Bruce

9:33 Daisy points out Geelong are able to push higher up the ground this quarter, but stops thinking a 50 has been given away

Taylor ignores her point and says something about Umpire Mollison

8:13 Free kick is paid for holding the ball

Taylor says the ball was out, Daisy jumps in to say it was probably the correct decision anyway since Gardiner spun, then Taylor jumps in and ignores her again to sum up his own thoughts

7:44

Goal to Miers from the free kick

Carey mentions that Geelong are controlling the game “as Bruce and Daisy have been talking about”

Bruce references the Johannisen miss and that Bontempelli has been quiet

7:05 Bruce says Crozier is more physical than he used to be and Carey agrees with a summation of his tackle on Dangerfield

6:27

Goal to Stanley

Daisy points out the Cats are able to control the ball now and move it sideways and stretch the Dogs defense

Carey observes the Cats are prepared to go long to a contest this quarter and throws to Daisy for more observations on the Cats chipping the ball around and controlling the play

6:15 Bruce tries to engage Hodge in some joshing about the empty end to the left of screen

Hodge responds only the AFL ball boy is down there and “he’s fallen asleep”

Hodge then straightens things up and mentions how Geelong have cut off the short kicks and are controlling the tempo

There’s a determination from Daisy and Hodge (and Carey to a certain extent) tonight to keep the commentary on track and away from the usual 7 joshing and japing

5:15 Taylor mentions the chat “Hodgey” had with Mitch Duncan at quarter time and how the Cats were seemingly still composed

4:20 Bruce and Carey discuss a Steven handball with Bruce excitedly concluding normally “isn’t that type of guy” and “needs a big windup”

Carey agrees

2:40 Bruce, Carey and Daisy have some brief joshing about a bad Dangerfield kick out on the full, with Bruce saying the ball went down the race

0:32 Dangerfields Telstra Tracker comes up

Taylors summation is “Dangerfields Telstra Tracker there….getting it from half back to half forward”

They have a tool there to inform the viewers and they never explain what any of it shows

0:00 Quarter ends with Bruce looking forward to the 2nd half

Biggest take away from the first half is a determination from Hodge and Daisy (and to a lesser extent Carey) to keep the broadcast straight and on track

A lot of the joshing and japing associated with Channel 7 isn’t there

Taylor is totally lost when he can’t do a Triple M commentary from 2010

3rd Quarter

16:00 Bruce opens up the term noting if Geelong win, they’ll be top of the ladder

15:36 Careys contribution after half time is to praise Dangerfields improved kicking, noting he used to blast the ball, now he kicks it more accurately

Taylor drifts in and out of the conversation saying “the one knock on him……precise kicking….” before moving on

15:19 Taylor returns to the Dangerfield kicking style and says they used to say that about Nathan Buckley

Dangerfield promptly kicks the ball straight to Williams for a turnover

Carey has a chuckle

14:13 Naughton takes a big mark

Tuohy gets another “whack in the guts” as Taylor describes it, while he and Bruce have a josh about how tough he is

Taylor mentions Tuohy has a cut above his eye, “left eye” as Carey informs the viewers

14:04 Tuohy comes off the ground with Bruce saying “he looks a bit like Jeff Horn doesn’t he!”

Chuckling ensues

13:51

Goal to Naughton

Bruce tries to engage Carey in a conversation about Tim Tzuyu, with Carey moving on with a quick “interesting fight wasn’t it”

Bruce takes an awkward second to get back on track, engaging Carey on a previous discussion on Naughtons dropped marks

Taylor shows a replay of Tuohys two hits in the game, with the summation “you can’t avoid it”

12:34

Mark and goal to Hawkins

Carey and Taylor discuss Hawkins leading patterns and Bruce mentions Gary Rohan just had his first kick

Hodge dissects a previous holding the ball decision and then after discussing Hawkins mark mentions an eye injury to Harry Taylor as his first contribution of the half

12:04 Holding the ball is paid against Atkins

The umpire says Atkins had an attempt to dispose of all the ball, and Taylor agrees

Daisy says “when you raise the hands like that and almost show the footy you are in trouble”

Taylor immediately jumps in to say “the other one that Hodgey mentioned…….”

It feels absolutely deliberate when you hear it like that that Taylor is ignoring Daisy

11:53 Taylor begins a discussion about the previous holding the ball, and how you are meant to dispose of the ball with one arm tied behind your back, “that’s what I want to know!”

11:43 Hodge responds to BTs question by saying the Umpire was looking for an effort from the Geelong player, saying “he was just laying on top of the ball”

Taylor again says “but if you’ve got one arm behind your back, how can you make an attempt?”

Hodge clarifies again “well shake up and down, that’s what they want to see…..if you turn to your side and try and push it out to your team-mate, the umpire just wants to see you move the ball on”

Taylor makes a quip about “I’ll lie on you and see if you can get it out” and Hodge says “he’s looking forward to it” before the conversation trails off with a Tuohy injury update

11:13 Bruce makes a joke to “Daisy and Duck” about BT being out of his weight division taking on Hodgey

Taylor mutters “We’ll see about that Bruce”

10:50 Bruce, Carey and Daisy discuss a holding the ball decision, particularly around Duncan bouncing the ball while being tackled/getting a hand on him

Taylor ignores all this to keep calling

8:40 Taylor announces Dangerfield has “those very white socks” and that he’ll be launching an investigation into them after the game to see if they are legal

He puffs “I’m just picking up the little things”

Daisy chips a sarcastic “don’t go anywhere”

Bruce japes “Hey BT I’m a featherweight, I’m not going near a heavyweight”

8:01 The cameraman zooms in on Dangerfields socks

Hodgey has to go “there are the socks BT” before giving injury updates on Tuohy and Harry Taylor

7:36 Bruce begins a thought about Will Hayes brother having a horse called Hard Landing running tomorrow, and he might have a bet on it because he was standing next to Tuohy…..

Bruce trails off and says “it’s as silly as the white socks”

Taylor joshes and japes “We might have a looksee at the white socks, I haven’t given up on that yet, you might have given up on the horse…..”

After the Hodge discussion about holding the ball before, the commentary seems to been completely derailed by Taylor talking about socks and the need to indulge him

Carey has hardly spoken this quarter

7:09 Daisy mentions Rohan is getting dangerous, Bruce moves on with the commentary

5:45 Close misses a set shot, Taylor makes a pun about “Close but not close enough Hodgey”

Hodgey ignores the jape to say Easton Wood is out for the game with a hamstring injury

4:21 Wallis doesn’t get a Bontempelli kick

Bruce says Wallis is off tonight, and Carey mentions he’s been in good from

“Terrific form” affirms Bruce

3:36 Daisy points out Geelong haven’t taken a single intercept mark all night, down from an average of around 11, with Daisy mentioning the Dogs are conscious of how they use the ball going inside 50

Bruce gives an appreciative “great pick up Dais”

2:39 Daisy and Carey discuss Miers not passing the ball to Rohan

Bruce jumps in to talk about Keath kicking the ball in after a behind, mentioning how important “the kicker-inner” is

2:18

Goal to O’Connor

Bruce calls it “the luck of the Irish”

Daisy mentions it’s only O’Connors 3rd goal but it was the perfect kick for an Irishman, “almost an over”

Bruce overrides with a “that goal is really big” style vagary has he to repeat to get Taylor to acknowledge

Carey mentions Hawkins is the #1 goal assist player in the comp and mentions his set up of the play

1:51 Hodge chips in with an extended thought on how Geelong did this to Port Adelaide, particularly around pushing their forwards high up the ground

Bruce engages him with a conversation around Geelongs increased intensity and Hodge explains how is a product of pushing their forwards up the ground

1:04 Bruce begins a thought about how (Josh) Bruce is down on confident

Taylor chips in “yep, he needs a big dose of it quick:

0:00 3rd Quarter ends with Bruce saying “it’s a 50/50 game”

The 3rd Quarter commentary derailed post Taylors “interaction” with Hodge about Holding the ball

The commentary had to indulge Taylor talking about socks to try and lift him back up

The commentators around him are trying to talk about the game, but they have to stop and discuss his indulges and josh and jape because he contributes nothing tactical

Also, again, he still hasn’t spoken to Daisy

4th Quarter

Before the quarter starts Daisy is talking about Miers getting a rev up from the coach and a discussion ensues about Jack Steven putting an arm on Miers as he goes to the bench

Daisy says “do you think Jack Steven heard it?”

Taylor gives a dismissive “I think they all heard it” and talks over her, as the quarter begins

16:00 Taylor starts the final term commentary

15:47 Taylor gives a sarcastic “reckon he hasn’t made much of an attempt Hodgey, but Hodgey isn’t going to comment on that one” after a holding the ball isn’t paid against Bontempelli

Hodge doesn’t respond, with Carey mentioning if the umpires had been consistent that would have been holding the ball

Taylor puffs up “Hodgey has gone for a pie, couldn’t return jab” after Bruce says Taylor gave “a good little jab”

Bruce has to indulge him by saying “you’ll get another chance BT”!

The train has left the tracks

15:13 Bruce makes a joke about (Josh) Bruce being out of sorts saying “I’ve said that in the mirror a few times”

No one responds

14:51 Daisy says the Dogs have pretty much conceded the hit outs after failing to win one in the 3rd term

Bruce says “can they rove to the Cats then Daisy?”

14:05 Taylor declares the Dogs “only need one goal to win it here, the Cats need 3 or 4…….:

13:36 Carey makes mention that the Cats have taken away the Dogs time and space, Taylor ignores this to keep talking

Taylor then throws to “Hodgey” who expands on the pressure Geelong have exerted and how they’ve taken away the Bulldogs space

12:57 English is run down by Rohan as he is about to shout

Bruce says in a comedy voice “Wrong bloke! Just a big slow ruckman! He had to go BANG!” and hits his fist into his palm

Taylor says “Yep, he did”

12:52 Taylor points out Tuohy is in the background hunched over without a boot and has a chuckle

Daisy tries to make a serious point that at the end of the game it wouldn’t surprise to find out he has broken ribs

Taylor talks over her saying “look at him!” and having another chuckle about him “being in the wars”

12:23 Taylor throws to a replay of the Rohan tackle and Daisy says Rohan has “done that on the mark consistently”

Bruce keeps calling

12:05 Dangerfield takes a mark, plays on and finds Rohan at the top of the goalsquare

The camera shows Gardner on the ground holding his stomach, but none of the commentators discuss this

Taylor instead begins talking about how young goalkickers can learn never turn your back on the play when you have a shot

Daisy says “it’s crept in more and more BT”, Taylor doesn’t respond

11:42

Goal to Rohan

Carey indulges Taylor with a quick “I know it’s one of your pet hates BT……and mine”

Daisy chips in “And mine…..”

Daisy gets ignored after saying “it’s become the norm”

Taylor narrates a clip of Tuohy throwing his mouthguard and says “he has more bruises than a body can handle”

The replay of the goal shows Gardner was hurt in a Hawkins block and is clearly lying on the ground, but no one mentions it

Taylor finishes instead with “I’ve seen first gamers do it!” re turning your back on the play

11:17 Joshing ensues about Tuohy throwing his mouthguard

Taylor says “That mouthguard didn’t come your way Hodgey”

Hodge ignores him, so Carey has to continue the joshing and Taylor starts a thought about Tuohys tattoos

Hodge eventually chimes in a weary “He picked it up BT, looks like he’s coming back on the ground”

Bruce says something about “the lucky green colour”

10:34 After a Rohan behind, Bruce pipes up “Gee you wouldn’t want to run into Tuohy in an Irish pub would ya!” before finishing “Gee he’s got a wild look about him hasn’t he!”

Taylor chimes in “He’d be the last man standing at the pub!”

10:04 Taylor begins an extended imaginary conversation between Bontempelli and Bailey Smith around Smith saying “no I want to go over here, I’m a good runner!”

8:47

Goal to Hunter

Bruce asks Taylor about his earlier comment that the Dogs only needed one goal

Taylor says “Well given the Cats kicked the first it’s probably not now”

Carey has a go at using the Telstra Tracker, before concluding Hunter is a “running machine in very very good form”

8:11

Goal to Dahlhaus

Daisy praises the courage of Crozier to no response

After commentary around the Dogs falling over and the Cats staying on their feet, Carey makes a joke about “Cats always landing on their feet”

Daisy says “I thought that was where you where heading”

Taylor tries to get in over the top of Daisy with a “yep”

Bruce makes a 9 lives reference and moves on

7:43

Goal to Naughton

Bruce throws to “Daisy and Duck” to discuss how the game is opening up

Carey says late in games, teams take the game on more with quick ball movement, and mentions Richards taking a quick advantage

6:21

Goal to Duncan

Bruce asks “BT about goals flowing now”

Taylor confirms “5 goals kicked in the quarter” and asks “Duck” about players being stuck on the bench late in the game

Carey simply says “yep” and after Bruce mentions the Dogs are down to two on the bench Taylor simply says “yep”

6:15 Hodge chips in by mentioning each team have got 5 goals from turnovers and the Dogs have to dig deep since they are looking tired

Taylor ignores this to say “The Coles Centre Circle hasn’t been kind to the umpys tonight” without context

5:26 Hawkins lines up to put the Cats in front

Carey praises Dahlhaus courage in knocking the ball on, and Daisy praises Dangerfield for his work earlier in the build up and putting the side on his back

Taylor ignores all of this

5:08

Goal to Hawkins

Carey mentions Hawkins is really confident in his goalkicking and Taylor chips in Hawkins knows with his kicks “where they are gonna start and where they are gonna end”

Hodge goes through Hawkins kicking routine, and Bruce shows the live ladder now the Cats are in front

4:10 Rohan takes on Gardner for pace and gains territory

Bruce says “he’s taking on Keath”

Bruce says in his comedy Bruce voice “THAT’LL DO!”

Taylor has to gently point out its Gardner

4:01 Taylor hits the “next goal wins” cliche

Taylor says “I’ve said a few things about goals tonight but surely the next goal wins Dais?”

Daisy says “I think the next one does too BT” and then moves on to talking about how Rohan did well to win a stoppage

This is the first time in 3 games Taylor has spoken to Pearce in any way

3:24 Bruce mentions Guthries stepped up and then mentions how Dickson has struggled

Hodge chips in to talk about how Geelong have spread the workload around and so players like Guthrie and Menegola have more responsibility

Taylor talks over the top of him to go back to talking about Dickson

2:18 Taylor calls a passage of play on the wing and Bruce says “Great call BT! Terrific stuff!”

2:17 Discussion about Rohan led by Bruce saying “He’s not Cyril!”

Carey and Daisy discuss Rohans impact for the Cats, with Daisy noting his athleticism

Bruce moves on with the call

0:43

Sealing goal to Rohan

Bruce says “at 29, he’s got it all in front of him! He wasn’t as good as we thought he was and now he is!”

Carey praises his pressure and energy

0:00 The game ends with Taylor giving some stats and saying the Cats “melted this game down”

Postscript/Conclusion

Pearce and Hodge tried really hard to keep the commentary on track, especially in the first half

Taylor began dominating the commentary and it fell off the rails in the 3rd term with the long discussion about socks

The parts of the commentary they have to indulge Taylors comedy side are unlistenable

Also, this commentary had some terrible basic errors – player mix ups (particularly the Enright one), not commenting on the Gardner incident etc

Taylor spoke to Daisy once in the whole broadcast, to ask a variant of “is the next goal important”

Carey laid out for a lot of the commentary, especially 2nd half

Also, this happened

Fuzzy Little Flunkers – Commentary Diary #3 – Gold Coast Suns vs Carlton (21/08/2020)

2020-08-21 (3)

Prologue

Channels 7s gameday commentary is a source of constant ridicule and criticism, particularly the performance of one Brian Taylor…..

During the game between West Coast and Carlton, it was observed by many on Twitter that Daisy Pearce in particular was being ignored by Taylor, and that the commentary was worse than ever

With that in mind, we decided to keep a diary for the commentary on certain games, as a test tracker to see if the criticism was valid

The game today is the first game of Indigenous Round, Gold Coast Suns vs Carlton, 21/08/2020

Commentary team – Brian Taylor, Bruce Mcavaney, Wayne Carey, Gavin Wanganeen and Abbey Holmes (the latter two at the ground)

Commentary taken from Foxtel replay, so excludes h/t and pre game – clock times are on “countdown” times from the broadcast.

Broadcast begins after the Welcome to Country ceremony

1st Quarter

16:00 Taylor introduces the game, thanking the Larrakia people for allowing it to happen

Throws to Wayne Carey, who mentions the Suns deserve a Friday night game for their attractive footy

Bruce jumps in, with an “Agree with you Duck”, then pauses to let the coin toss ceremony be shown

Taylor and Bruce have a quick chat about the conditions, mentioning Abbey and Gavin have told them about the humid conditions

Taylor makes a long point about the age of Kade Simpson compared to his Suns opponents and Carey mutters something about Simpson in a short sleeved jumper

Throw to Abbey Holmes for another check on the conditions, meaning we’ve mentioned the conditions three times already

Abbey gives some vagaries about it being hot and she’s pumped for the game

Taylor doesn’t respond, and we hit the first bounce

15:58 Taylor starts as he usually does, mentioning the umpires are “in great form”

14:33 Carey, having observed the ground “looks like a carpet”, chips in that Casboult needs to stop with the short kicks, as he can’t disguise them well

Taylor agrees, saying its better for Casboult to “gain the metreage”

13:30 Taylor again decides “the surface is like carpet”

13:03 Bruce throws to Abbey to see if Swallow is paying close attention to Docherty

Abbey isn’t sure and says she’s having a close eye on it and will get back to Bruce

Camera cuts to Swallow wrestling with Williamson, not Docherty and Abbey says “that shows they are paying close attention to each other as you can see!”

Bruce trails off with a non committal “thanks for that Abbey”

11:40 First score of the game is a point to Sam Walsh

Bruce mentions that Walsh has kicked 5 goals in his last 5 games, after kicking 6 in the previous 30

Carey comes back with some vagaries, saying Walsh has “taken his game to a new level” and remember “that mark he took earlier this year”

Bruce trails off with a “yep”

Bruces crosses haven’t started well

11:24 Bruce anticipates the battle between Cripps and Greenwood at the stoppages “will be fascinating”

Taylor responds with a “yep, it will indeed, great battle”

10:06 Mark to Gibbons

General joshing about if Gibbons can kick a goal from a set shot

Carey says there’s more pressure on a set shot, and Gibbons misses with Bruce saying “hooking, hooking, hooking”

Taylor throws to a photo of Eddie Betts with Connor Budarick from 5 years ago, and mentions now Budarick is playing on his hero

Bruce and Carey approve, while Taylor finishes with “blow your mind on that!”

9:15

First goal of the game to Gibbons

Bruce mentions “it was appropriate Newnes gave it to Gibbons!”

Carey and Taylor get distracted talking about the Betts/Budarick photo again

After describing the goal, Taylor throws to the Fanzone to point out Daniel Gorringe is going “absolutely geeky”

8:55 Point kicked by De Koning

Bruce chips in another vagary with “Gee he’s an athlete isn’t he!”

Taylor jumps in again with his tale of how De Koning is pronounced

Taylor gets so caught up in his story of how De Konings mother told him it how it was pronounced, he mixes up Collins with Budarick and has to correct himself

7:20 Mark inside 50 to Newnes

Bruce begins an extended thought about how Newnes went from “a B Grade movie star to a leading man” last week

6:59 Newnes drags his set shot wide after Carey says there’s now an expectation for Newnes to kick these goals

Bruce engages in joshing saying Carey “can spoil a good story!” and Taylor japes “he’s a real party pooper!”

Gavin Wanganeen still hasn’t spoken on the broadcast

5:40 Gold Coast haven’t scored

Taylor asks Carey what Gold Coast need to do that they aren’t doing

Carey says the Suns need to stop the short kicks of Carlton, noting Carlton are already up to 20 marks, with a clear plan to chip it around

Taylor says nothing in response

5:07 Taylor and Bruce begin a conversation about Rankine and whether he has free range or needs to be more professional

Bruce makes a point about Rankine doing a lot of running last week and blowing up near the end of the game

4:10 First cross to Gavin Wanganeen all game

Taylor asks Wanganeen the vague question “how you seeing it” and Wanganeen responds “you can see the wide entries and the Carlton boys are saying good luck if you kick it from there”

No one replies

3:38 After Simpson fumbles over the line, Abbey chips in to point out the dew on the ground is making the ball slippy and its slipping through the players fingers

Taylor ignores her and makes a joke about “the other Dew, Stuart….”

3:20 Carey tries to make a point about marking the ball in slippery conditions and how to mark the ball with flat hands

He gets swallowed up by Taylor marvelling about the fans bringing their own chairs

Extended conversation then goes on about which team has the most fans, roping in Abbey to talk about there being more Blues fans, Bruce joshing about what happens if the Suns kick a goal, and Carey saying Eddie Betts is a drawcard

This chews up around 30 seconds

0:00 The quarter ends with Bruce talking about the jumpers being worn

Quarter time

1 cross to Gavin Wanganeen all game

Abbey is much more of a traditional “boundary rider” than Daisy or Hodge, and Taylor seems much more engaged with that set up

Abbey butchered her main cross about Swallow and Docherty

Taylor has been all over the map

Carey has been really subdued in the broadcast and has contributed mostly vagaries

2nd Quarter

16:00 Taylor opens the 2nd quarter commentary

15:12 Bruce mentions Jack Martin, noting he kicked 4 goals against Richmond and made “an auspicious debut”

Carey responds with another vagary, concluding with “he’s a class act and having a good year”

Bruce responds with a “no doubt”

14:50 Taylor praises “those magnificent trees in the background”

13:47 Taylor mentions “Izak Ranking”

Taylor also muses umpire Robert Finlay is in “great form” with no context

12:50 A kick inside 50 is marked by Jack Martin

Despite the clear close up it’s Jack Martin, Taylor calls him “Petrevski-Seton” before correcting

Carey praises Simpson for taking the game on and getting a quick kick inside 50

12:11 Martin misses the set shot

Taylor and Carey have a vague conversation that starts with Taylor saying last year “Gold Coast just played to play”, and Carey concluding Carlton haven’t put scoreboard pressure on them and the Suns “time will come”

It’s a real drop down from Hodge and Daisy to go back to such vague non committal commentary

11:49

Free kick to Harry McKay

Carey muses that McKay “hit his last shot well” even though he missed, so it should give him confidence

11:21

Goal to Mckay

Carey and Taylor again have a very vague conversation about McKay “shaping up well for a big guy” that doesn’t seem to say anything interesting

Taylor says “he looks really solid” and will be a good player

Carey says “the upside of him is……huge”

Taylor concludes the conversation by saying David Teague looks happy

The most staggering thing doing this diary so far is the drop off in quality from Daisy and Hodge (and even god forbid the less Channel 7ny bits of Cameron Ling) to Carey

10:24 Taylor gets frustrated with the Suns slow play

Bruce is also frustrated, mentioning “it’s not like they’ve changed personnel!”

Neither mentions the Suns are on a short break

10:05 Petrevski-Seton is injured in a tackle from Swallow

Taylor says Petrevski-Seton “got up with both arms on the ground” and should be OK

Bruce mentions he’s a hardy player

9:48 Abbey reports Petrevski-Seton is coming off the ground

9:10 Mark inside 50 to Rankine

Taylor praises Gold Coast for moving the ball quicker and Carey chips in that “Docherty, Weitering and these guys are playing good footy so you can’t just bomb it on their heads”

8:30 Rankine kicks the goal mentioning with Taylor saying “he’s a sweet timer of the footy”

Carey and Taylor begin another non specific conversation about quick ball movement and “what forward doesn’t love it!”

Abbey chips in to describe the goal in basic terms and then throw to Gavin (for only the 2nd time) to talk about how he’s related to Izak Rankine

Bruce concludes “great story Abbey!”

7:25 After a tackle by Kade Simpson, Taylor mentions Simpson is 36 again, and calls a tackle “a real cruncher”

Carey uses the Telstra Tracker to say Walsh has covered a lot of ground and Ed Curnow is a “massive runner as well”

7:16 Bruce says “you can see the Suns have lifted a bit” after their goal and Carey says “their attack on the footy can’t be questioned”

It’s such an uninteresting, vague commentary, that’s the thread so far, it’s not informing the viewer in any way

6:58 Taylor muses “the kids won’t forget this!” and how lucky they are to see this game

5:55 Free kick to Eddie Betts for a high tackle

Careys analysis is “Eddie pulled out his whole trick bag!”

No one comments on the free

5:14 Betts misses the set shot

Carey says “it’s the most clapped point he’s ever seen”

Taylor begins a cringy monologue about “they love it” and “if they just take away from this that they love footy and watch their heroes, that’s all we want!”

He then praises the Larrakia people for “giving us so many great footballers over the years!”

He doesn’t name any of them

3:27

Mark to Lemmens

Carey runs with “it’s a big win to the Suns because Carlton haven’t put on scoreboard pressure”

3:12 Lemmens kicks a goal

Carey again doesn’t contribute much beyond “speed of ball movement” and something is “the most important kick in football”

Throw to Gavin Wanganeen (only the 3rd time) to basically back up Taylor that speed of ball movement is the key

Taylor agrees

3:02 Taylors analysis of Lukosius is “I love his name, I love his kicks, I love his play and precision ball, look at that!”

2:24 Goal to Eddie Betts

It’s set up by Zac Fisher out sprinting Lukosius and getting the ball into Betts

The 7 analysis is Carey and Taylor to josh about “a big bear” jumping on Lukosius back and Taylor says “the big bear on his back said you’ve done too much running!”

Carey is about to launch into more analysis of the goal when they cut to the crowd and show several Indigenous fans enjoying the game

Taylor purrs “Isn’t it great! Isn’t it great to see these guys coming to the footy! Enjoying every moment of it! Look they don’t know which way to look! It’s such a big bright thing for them! They are loving the opportunity of AFL football up here! Thanks to the Larrakia people again!”

So…….that was all kinds of wrong……..

1:18 Goal to McKay

Carey mentions the game is opening up and Taylor goes back to McKays “uncomplicated style” kicking for goal

Bruce and Carey continue the vagary with Bruce saying he’s the dominant key forward on the ground and Carey concluding “he’s having a very good game”

Carey then pipes in “he has a smooth clean action” and “he could be a superstar of the comp”

Wanganeen, who’s sounded nervous up until now, chips in that Gibbons set up the goal well and McKay has a good kicking action

0:40 Goal to Gibbons

Someone in the Channel 7 production truck REALLY wants crowd shots because we’re jump cutting to them all the time now

Bruce says Gibbons contribution tonight has been “quite stunning” and “pretty good all the way through”

Carey simply says “they are getting too much uncontested footy” and Taylor says “yup”

Carey slips into more vagaries that the Suns pressure has dropped off

Taylor chimes in “all the 3s, 3 goals, 3 minutes, and 3 entries”

Bruce replies “A hat trick in more ways than one!”

Taylor ignores it, and joshing ensues

0:27 Taylor goes on a monologue again about the people bringing in their own deck chairs

Taylor says “they’ve brought all different seats for all different weights!”

Bruce says “you would be a challenge!”

Joshing ensues

0:00 End of the 2nd quarter

So the key takeaway from that is just how uninteresting and uninformative the commentary is

Carey as a special comments person is a steep dive off a cliff compared to Daisy, Hodge and some of Ling

He doesn’t analyse any build up to goals or any patterns of play, just vague stuff about McKay being solid etc

Bruce and Taylor have been all over the place and the game just isn’t called well

Taylors comment on the crowd was appalling and cringy. At best.

Abbey and Wanganeen have been used really sparingly……

3rd Quarter

Half time note – Channel 7 used 1/2 time of Indigenous round to interview Daniel Gorringe about this fear of birds, rather than interview any Indigenous players

16:00 Taylor opens the 3rd quarter, Carey opens up with another vagary about David Swallow having a good year

15:16 Marc Murphy kicks a behind

Taylor notes Murphy leads all possession getters on the ground and thus is having “a good night”

14:09

Mark inside 50 to Casboult

Carey notes Casboult was the beneficiary of a good kick that went deep and Casboult read it better than anyone else

Taylor says Martin delivered a “class kick” and the other two say “yep”

13:33

Casboult misses a set shot

Bruce asks Taylor if Carltons inaccuracy will hurt Carlton

Taylors summation is basically “it shouldn’t, unless Gold Coast play better”

The insight is staggering

13:03 Casboult drops a Simpson kick inside 50

Taylor is so busy praising the magnificent kick he doesn’t call the play and the dropped mark

12:47 Bruce says Gold Coast are at breaking point and need to “boomerang their way out of this, sling shot their way out of this”

12:00 Weitering outmarks King

Carey chips in more vagaries that King is playing on “a really good player who’s having a some sort of year”

Taylor mentions 10 Gold Coast players have had less than 5 possessions but doesn’t name them or go any further

10:42 Casboult takes a strong mark down the line

Carey sums up its important to take strong marks and “then he had the nous to play on”

It’s not adding anything to the commentary, it’s just describing what people can see that’s really obvious

10:26 Cross to Abbey to tell us Ballard is up after being hit by Ellis

Abbey trails off nervously that “it’s good news……for Suns fans”

Taylor says “thanks Abbey”

9:59 Taylor goes to another one of this familiar themes, thanking the umpires for living in the hub

9:49 De Koning gives away a free kick to Witts

Carey chips in “Couple of free kicks De Koning has given away to Witts….let them off the hook”

Bruce responds with a “yep, in the same spot”

8:40 Bruce brings up a stat that Swallow has won 5 clearances and is starting to get busy around the stoppages

Carey chips in with “The Suns intensity has lifted”

7:03 Weitering takes a defensive mark

Bruce tries to engage Carey in a discussion on whether Weitering is in All Australian form

Carey responds “He’ll be in the discussion, not many goals kicked on him…..”

6:38 Taylor begins an extended part on Maurice Rioli

He awards Rioli 10 out of 10 or 9 out 10 for aspects of his game, not really explaining where he got those marks from

It concludes with Taylor saying he was a “10 out of 10 person” and a “former team-mate of mine that died too young”

While he’s talking, he misses a mark inside 50 to Corbett

Bruce has to interject with a quick “Absolutely….so mark in the pocket to Corbett” to get things back on track

6:06 Swallow hits the post with a shot from the boundary

Taylors analysis is “there’s a lot of kids in the crowd saying I would have kicked that in my playtime! Every day! No doubt about it!”

4:49 Throw to Carey for a discussion about the Tom Lynch story in the week

Carey thinks there wasn’t much in it “but he liked the passion of young Collins in the rooms”

3:41 Carey returns to the theme saying if it was a midfielder or an on baller it wouldn’t be talked about

Taylor throws to “Gav” for his thoughts

Wanganeen doesn’t hear the question and responds saying he’s waiting for Gold Coast to get a message to attack more and not just kick it down the line

Bruce responds “lets see if they do get that message”

3:09 Goal to Weller

Bruce screams “Corridor footy!” and says “I reckon they got the message Gav!”

Abbey chips in to say “Gavin you wanted to the Suns to take grass, take risks…..”

Wanganeen nervously says “Gold Coast got some overlap handballs……which….the Carlton defence don’t like”

Taylor ignores all this to comment on Rowell and Dew on the bench “having a little love-fest”

2:46 Goal to Curnow

Taylor says it came from “the brilliance of Cripps and Curnow” and was the last thing Gold Coast wanted

Careys analysis is it was a nice finish, and he had time and space, followed up by saying the improvement in Carlton is in winning tight finishes, and trailing a very vague thought by saying the fans in the Fan Zone seem pretty happy

1:14 Simpson takes an intercept mark

Careys analysis is “Simpson saw the body language was he was kicking it short and read it well”

0:00 Quarter ends with Rankine missing a sitter

Bruce sums up “oh boy oh boy oh boy”

Taylor begins a thought about the free range you give a player like Rankine, then goes “oh boy oh boy oh boy” and asks Bruce if he has any thoughts

Bruce says “it’s 3 quarter time”

4th Quarter

16:00 Bruce opens the final term hoping the Suns can make some inroads

15:10 Bruces throws to Taylor to talk about Carltons defence being impressive

Taylor says “Carltons defence has been impressive led by this man here Docherty”

It’s clearly Weitering

Carey chips another vagary that Weitering and Docherty have “stood up all night”

Taylor mumbles “Plowman another” and Carey says “yep”

Searing analysis

14:19 McKay marks and has a shot at goal

Taylor calls McKays kick as “I reckon thats a goal, that’s magnificent”

Goal Umpire gives a point, with Carey saying “it’s a bad camera angle” and Taylor to say “he can’t actually see the goals”

12:15 Taylor says “he reckons it was Ainsworth” that got a handball out

Bruce says “it was, well done” like a proud parent

12:00 Throw to Wanganeen to discuss the amount of times Eddie Betts has dropped chest marks

Wanganeen says the humidity in Darwin makes the ball like a cake of soap

Bruce sums up “we’ve got a reason BT but it is unusual”

11:48 Carey chips in “McKay had a lot of time and space to kick the ball”

He’s interrupted by Taylor getting excited that a Lukosius kick “went up the backside of Pittonet!”

He begins trying to josh that “it hit him on the bottom!”

Carey says “it happens” and Taylor says “hilarious…..some say not that funny…….”

11:02 Carey says Cripps needs to learn to win his own ball

Bruce asks him if that will happen or its just the way he plays

Carey says “the next evolution will be to get it to guys like Walsh”

Conversation fades out

10:35 Taylor asks Bruce the last time Carlton won a Friday night game

Bruce says it was North Melbourne in 2014 “but someone fed it to him in his ear”

Joshing ensues

10:00 Carey begins a vague monologue about Gold Coast having 6 players younger than Sam Walsh and “they have a really bright future”

Bruce chips in Carlton have 6 of the oldest 7 on the ground

Conversation fades out

Still no one has mentioned Gold Coast are off a short break

8:40

Goal to Newnes

Bruce wonders if last weeks match winner gave Newnes belief

Carey chips in “it gave him confidence”

They repeat the same conversation again, before Carey gets distracted by the Ladder

5:22 Goal to Flanders

Taylor goes straight into fixture list and a monologue on Gold Coast not ruining their competitive season

After a discussion on the next nights game and the debut of Irving Mosquito, Taylor states “it’s worldwide Mosquito day yesterday, on the day he was selected!”

Bruce says “I’ve made a note of it BT”

No one says anything about the goal

Carey says nothing

5:03 Cripps kicks a behind

Bruce says he’s glad Cripps didn’t kick a goal, because “they were messing up the commentary talking about Mosquitos!”

Joshing ensues

3:46 Games wind down

Bruce says “Gibbons is a nice foil for everyone isn’t he”

Carey says “yep” and gives him nothing

2:41 Carey mutters something about Carltons back six “controlling the air”

The Telstra Tracker comes on the screen with “repeat speed leaders”

Taylor looks at it and says “The Telstra Tracker there”

0:08 Game winds down with a discussion about midfielder set shots

End of Game

Postscript/Conclusion

The main thing that stood out was how truly horrible Wayne Carey was at special comments

He contributed so many vagaries, unquantifiable statements, and the quality drop from Hodge, Daisy and Ling (sometimes) was stark

There was no analysis of patterns of play, no explanations on what happened, no rationale on the game

Bruce and Taylor had to fill in a lot more air time as a result, particularly after Abbey butchered her big cross and Wanganeen was so audibly nervous

Taylors observation on the crowd being distracted by big shiny AFL was absolutely embarrassing

Truly awful commentary all round, at times embarrassing, but mostly just uninformative and uninteresting, full of words just to fill time